Here I am
Im not sure if Im back or not. Some memories have captured me and I can not capture them back. I feel like my lens is broke and the beauty is lock in my mind and wont come out. Ive found myself running the rat race in coorprate America and ive left my art behind. I need to get back, i need to find my way back. The spread sheets, graphs, percentages, rates, and all the B.S. that I officially fac…
Why am I Greatful
The effects of not sleeping have set in. Here I am, days and days later, and it just seems endless. I haven’t written, I haven’t taken any pictures, and school is suffering. Why do I still feel greatful? I have journals, and journals I’ve written in the past 15 years, and I’ve found myself in tears; I am wash and stained with the salt from my own tears. I sit and read and remember what happened…
How Wide, How Vast
Today, I am here, I am flesh, I am soul, I am here. I keep wondering what it is I should do. I am constantly making mistakes, I am constantly miscalculating, I am constantly wrong. Everyone will agree, that it is ok to be wrong, or to miscalculate; its ok to make mistakes, but how big, and how wide, and how vast does the mistake have to be before its no longer ok?
I remember standing on the…
When it Rains... It just rains.
I took a walk in the rain today.
It was cold rain, but I was warm. I was thinking, and pondering…
How far will I have to walk in this cold rain?
I walked around a pond, and it began to rain harder,
My feet were cold, and the rain was wet,
I kept wondering, How far will i have to walk in this cold rain?
I heard the birds scatter at my presence,
the grass under my feet gave i…
I ran into Faith the other day
So the other day I “thought,” I’m still not sure, I found a lump.
but listen.
I started crying which sounds pretty normal,
but once you lose a child,
your never normal.
So Im crying, in the car,
it just hit me,
and I keep crying.
Finally
I realize why I’m crying;
we all have a purpose,
we’re here for a reason,
and I haven’t fulfilled my purpose.
See
when you s…
Today
I have survive another day, a day, 24 hours. What does that mean? I heard a program on NPR, its called “This I Believe.” He talked about being present, showing up for your own life. Stop being absent, look at the world around you, what is it going to take?
26 months and 19 days ago I lost my daughter, so each day I am forced to not only acknowledge her absence in my life, but I am force to…