an unfortunate journey

she was young and connected to the beautiful world.
she was indestructible and life was a blooming flower
whose fragrance entranced and held her captive to
every precious moment. she believed all was well in
this vibrant universe of colors, butterflies, sunsets
and music

and oh how she danced!

the turning point comes. doesn’t it always? I do wonder…
does it come somehow for everyone? slowly…abruptly
yes, I begin to believe it does come for us all. happy to
know the turning point is not always bad. glad to know
there may be more than one turning point in a life.
if you are lucky, it may be a good one…even saving.

she was kidnapped and raped. barely got away with
her life…and I cannot believe she is letting me write this,
as I never really realized…
how well she hid it all away. most of it anyway.

this turning point soured her world. there was great
fear and no trust. there was not much understanding,
in fact incoherency and disbelief overwhelmed her every moment.
she lost all faith in humanity. she never knew
the ugly truth in this world, and hated it’s learning process.
and all the colors she ever knew
faded into shadow…for so long, as she learned to hate.

she never turned back to who she was. sometimes,
things can never change back, completely anyway.
she soon believed and obsessed over monsters.
it took a long time.
and even though ultimately she was saved…
it wasn’t enough …though it became enough for her
so she says …
as eventually
she learned slowly but surely, some…maybe many
never come back…at all. so…
I suppose she considered herself lucky for that.

she is safe now and she is loved.
she breaks down every now and then
over the oddest things …but perhaps she is entitled.

seasons change and life renews.
a returning sparkle to her eyes this spring
……. a good sign.

we are hopeful.

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she wanted me to post this …for others, just in case. I think for her too. and for that, I think she is brave and beautiful.

please know …this is absolutely NOT ABOUT ME.

Comments

  • Donna19
    Donna19over 1 year ago

    I think her a giant among women. How tragic but also so beautiful in spirit. She really is a light in this world giving in her pain like this. Amazing how such trauma can grow us into a stronger person and create in us more beauty than before. Her tears simply cleanse and feed the present with more and more strength. What comes from pain lives within us forever as renewal we can draw on when we need it. Beautiful and caring of you to create such a loving tribute to a great lady. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  • Thank you so, so much Donna. You have no idea of the powerful impact of your words. We cried our eyes out getting ready to post this, and now reading all these beautiful comments are making her feel more empowered and freer than ever!! Bless you!!! Love and hugs! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    – autumnwind

  • timbuckley
    timbuckleyover 1 year ago

    The ability to speak of such things, to have a friend as you, to confide in with trust, to be able to translate her journey so perfectly says a lot about you both

  • Wow, how incredibly kind of you!! Deeply appreciated more than you know. Your thoughtful comment will will go a very long way! I am personally so very grateful for your thoughtfulness.
    Thank you from both of us!!! xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

    – autumnwind

  • Lyndy
    Lyndyover 1 year ago

    She is strength personified, humanity in it’s truest form, a giver, survivor of horror and truth. She is magnificent, unable to undo, yet reamains hopeful. I believe I know her, and I love her tenderly. Shar, these hugs are for you and your writing. HUGS xxx

  • Hello darling Lyndy. A few people have bmailed me thinking this is about me, but it absolutely is not, or I honestly believe I would have no trouble saying so. It is about a dear friend who I have known for years and she made a decision and asked me to write something. It was very intense, and we both cried, but I think now seeing all these beautiful comments, she is ever so grateful and feeling very good with so much caring support!! I will share your hugs with her if that is ok, and send you back a big bunch from both of us!!! Just love you my friend!!! Thank you!
    HUGS! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

    – autumnwind

  • BCallahan
    BCallahanover 1 year ago

    What a brave soul she is…. and you are such a sweet friend for writing this about her… She will be stronger, she will eventually be happier, and she will find peace (i pray for peace for her). Big hugs to you and your friend…. xoxox

  • Thank you so much dear Barb! We are best friends since forever, and this was a difficult and intense decision she made. With all these wonderful and supportive comments, she is already glad she choose to do it. Thank you for adding to her well being! So appreciated!!! Warm hugs, shar xoxoxoxoxoxox

    – autumnwind

  • JohnDSmith
    JohnDSmithover 1 year ago

    Reading what Donna said,…“A giant among woman”,….That`s what I was thinking too,…..I know from my own life,….It was the war`s or hard times I went through that made me who I am now,…..Much stronger then the ones that never went through it,……
    Your friend is stronger then most ,and you write about it beautifully,…

  • You make a good point my friend, through our suffering we eventually somehow come out of it better and stronger than ever, with the great support of our loved ones and friends. So appreciate your most thoughtful and kind comment!
    Warmest hugs, shar xoxoxoxoxoox

    – autumnwind

  • JRGarland
    JRGarlandover 1 year ago

    The greatest battles are not fought with flesh and blood, but rather in the heart and soul of the person. The strength of a soul is measured in the enduring heart regardless of what harsh lessons we learn. We are at our weakest point when attacked so harshly, but we determine whether we grow in strength or crumble in time. It is there where we see the exposed character of the individual. You, Shar, have shown us a woman who is strong in character and able to endure much in her life. For such a soul, life has great meaning and will teach others to be strong as well. Awesome write!!!

  • Aww, JR, not so sure about me being strong. I will admit I can be strong for a friend, for what else is more important in life than the love and respect for our sisters and brothers? Yes, I will always be there for her, as she will be there for me. We have been best friends since grammar school and are blessed to have each other. This was a difficult read and not easy to comment on I realize. Cannot express how much I appreciate your wise and caring words my very dear and precious friend. Thank you so, so much for being so very kind and such an amazing support.
    Much love and warmest hugs always, shar xoxoxoxoxoxxooxxo

    – autumnwind

  • Brenda Dahl
    Brenda Dahlover 1 year ago

    Wow, what a gift she gave you. Your a gift to her too. I’m nearly speechless. I remember the pretty colors turnug dark, this is her time for healing. Excellent.

  • Hello, and how very kind of you to read and comment. Thank you so, so much for your thoughtful words and kindness. Yes, she is healing well now, there is no doubt. So warmly appreciated. : ))
    Hugs, shar xoxoxoxoxox

    – autumnwind

  • evon ski
    evon skiover 1 year ago

    the sparkle really can come back. I hope she got (is getting) wise loving help. To be accepted as we are in our wounding is incredibly healing and strikes down the shame this type of trauma implodes. The helpless ones take on that shame and transformation comes in the expression and casting off. She is really blessed to have such a treasure of a friend like you that helped shine the light into this dark corner! Beautiful job on this piece Shar, blessigs and hugs to you both!! xXx

  • A very wise and beautiful comment dear Yvonca. I must say we are both blessed, as she has always been there for me also, during my dark times, which have been often enough. The sisterhood of friendship is a beautiful thing, as is the kindness and support of friends right here like yourself who understand with great compassion and support. Thank you so, so much from both of us …when she reads all these comments it will only add the healing of her spirit and make her stronger than ever. Thank you for being a part of that. Love and blessings and warmest hugs to you, shar xoxoxoxxoxxoxoxo♥

    – autumnwind

  • Rocky Loder
    Rocky Loderover 1 year ago

    to be able to write this story the way you did is truly amazing…to have a friend like you im sure she will be fine…i could say a lot more i guess but theres not a lot more to be said other than the fact you have a great soul….hope your friend works things out….

  • Aww Rocky, I know how difficult this is to read, and to comment on. That you took the time means the world to me, and will to her too. Thank you for that beautiful compliment, but I have to add that she would do the same thing for me, and in many different ways over the years she has. She truly is the sister I never had. Thanks so much for your kindness and good wishes. You are one beautiful soul yourself my friend. Warm hugs, shar xoxoxoxoxooxo

    – autumnwind

  • TeresaB
    TeresaBover 1 year ago

    April 10, 2013

    Beautiful work!

  • Dear Teresa, to say that this feature means so much to me, to us, would be putting it mildly. It is a great honor, and when we go over all these comments together, and she sees the features too, it will overwhelm her and greatly add to her healing. She will see why I love this community so much, and will feel the empathy, kindness and support of friends like you big time, and know the reason why I am here. You have no idea how much this will mean to her, how much it means to me. This was difficult to write, so I know it had to be difficult to read. Appreciated so much. Thank you dearly from my heart♥
    Warmest and grateful hugs, shar xoxoxoxoxxooxxoxoxooxo

    – autumnwind

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