an abstraction of unrelated thoughts
thoughts and musings punctuated by contradictions excerpted from a conversation with someone i loved…
comfort isn’t physical condition of the body, its a state of mind.
i wander around my thoughts as if they are dunes in the sands of time, my train of thought collides with my plane of existence and yet i wonder, i wander…
its hard to quantify how disassociated i feel from everything.
at the end of the day, i feel lonely and small and helpless in the rain.
hopefully the sun shines tomorrow, because normally i love the rain.
i want to hold on to the people that are important to me, and spend my time wisely, because anything can happen. you slip and fall when you least expect it.
i don’t want to be compared. It instills so many negative qualities. I don’t want to wind up and the end of my life saying “if only i was as good at this as this person” it makes you feel like crap. And if it happens to make you feel good, then it seems to only be temporary, a product of disillusionment
constantly having you on my mind as an escape from reality is like driving at 100 miles an hour with your eyes closed, you’re doing fine until you crash hard because you can’t see whats coming.
tell me a story. tell me about when you were a kid. tell me what you’ve failed at. tell me what you’ve accomplished.
tell me why i love you. tell me whats happening in your life.
i feel like for the past 3 months, after i left the ship, i lost a part of who i was, i left it on the ship. i left some of me in the sails. some of me on deck. some in the rigging. a little bit stayed left with the crew. i left a lot of me with you.
sometimes i wonder why i answer complicated questions with simple answers and simple questions with complex answers, but it’s what makes sense most of the time.
wish upon a star for me, there’s no stars to be seen in the city
music is flowing from me like water from a tap, only i can’t control when it’s on or off…
i wonder if you still look at the stars the way you did when we were together
getting a job doesn’t necessarily fulfill dreams, and dreaming doesn’t pay the bills.
I know that what i wonder is superseded by what i know, but i wonder if what i know is enough to make you know what, how and why i feel the way i do.
i wonder.
im not sure what love is…
in fact im even less sure than i ever have been.
is it unconditional acceptance?
is it based on how closely you communicate with someone?
is it just an action or a feeling?
is it hard to define, or impossible to define?
do you know when you are in it?
is it an idea used to define something that’s nonexistent?
is it something more than that?
is it a deeper emotional connection than ordinary, is it determined by what lengths you would go to to keep it?
is it real?
is it something you say because it sounds right, and because you think you know what it means so you say it because you want the other person to know how you feel about them even if you aren’t sure of what it is?
is it one of the biggest mysteries, or is it really just simple?
is it realizing who you are, and not being afraid of what the other person thinks of you?
is it doing anything for that person?
i don’t think its just a fabricated idea to hide physical attraction, but rather empathy, mutual feelings, understanding, appreciating, learning, comittment, maturing, exploring and caring from both sides of a relationship.
i find it difficult to express the quality and magnitude of my passion simply by lightly tapping a keyboard in order to input a sequence of letters and words that might happen to convey a small percentage of how i feel
i want to play my guitar with such passion right now
im actually doing nothing in class. no teacher, no assignment. just sitting in a desk literally wasting time.
this didn’t get any easier.
let it be known that i have sang? sung? singededed? singificated?... whatever
talk email write cry listen to music scream dance sing yell run, breathe and live what you are feeling, don’t try to hide from life or your feelings or anything like that.
face the world with open eyes and you will be rewarded with a point of view unique to where you stand no one else will have the same one… listen to what people have to say and you will be rewarded with their respect. act as you feel and you will feel truly alive
i really wish i could write lyrics to songs that are half decent.
lost and found
calm and excited
anxious and comfortable
flying and grounded
independence and need
happiness and love
“…then i played and played and couldn’t stop playing, i couldn’t have put it [guitar] down if the house next door blew up… “
i love hearing you talk and develop ideas and theories when you say things that you mean, and blow my mind with true beauty in the fragile balance that we cling to known as life.
i have so much to say and not the time to facilitate putting my feelings to words
-cody j. grimsrud
Gurung
honest; coarse and delicate; very nice
Cody Grimsrud
thanks for taking the time to read and reply.
i like your use of coarse and delicate :P
Anna Commer
My forever favorite part: “talk email write cry listen to music scream dance sing yell run, breathe and live what you are feeling, don’t try to hide from life or your feelings or anything like that.”
I’ll draw some ideas from that for my own writing ;-)
Cody Grimsrud replied
i’m so glad you commented on this, really.
i don’t know what anyone thinks of it.
thank you so much :)