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Among other things that cousin Bubba protects with his award winnin’ security systems is barns. That’s right, barns. Prob’bly the second most important dang buildin’ on the properties is the farmer’s barn. The house may keep the kin, but that there barn keeps what the kin eats, rides, wears, and hang ‘bouts in. Back-in-the-day, the barn was the center of a farmer’s ways… not the house. That there house was mainly for sleepin’ and such. Remember when that Walton family retir’d for the night? John Boy and the others said their “Good nights” from the house, not the barn.
Also, the barn is where the weekend shindigs happened, including the Saturday night “Barn Dance”, attended by those from the local woods, ‘hoods and hollers. All the folks would gather down by the barn whiles the hillbilly band stirred it up with some of that hoedownin’ music. EVERYONE HAD A RIP-ROARIN’ TIME, YES SEREE!
There was anoth’r community benefit of barn functions other than jest merely the socializin’ ones. These here barn events are what kept the feudin’ families toleratin’ the peace. Beginn’ on Monday and throughout the whole week, all the feudin’ families be goin’ at it. They be cussin’ and accusin’ each other of stealin’ pigs and what-nots… buildin’ up agitatin’s and aggravations towards each other; and, jest wishin’ the other would cross that line, “Jest one time! Go on, give me a reason… CROSS THAT LINE JEST ONE TIME!” But, on the weekend, the feudin’ families be dancing together and sharin’ jugs, shoutin’ and a-carrying on… OH BOY, just havin’ a good ole celebration! No one’s sure if it was the socializin’ or the juggin’ that made those families forget their fallin’out, reasons, for feudin’; but what ever it was, it did the trick.
Church attend’nce didn’t hurt none e’ther. On Sundays, durin’ church, the feudin’ families be sittin’ on separate sides of the church, eyein’ each other; but, when that there church service REALLY kicked in, they’d all got caught up bein’ filled in their spirits, singin’ songs like, “Shoutin’ Time”, “Hand’l’s Messi’h (The Hall’luj’h Chor’s).” They liket singin’ hymns that theys ALL can relate to, songs like, “The Old Account Was Settled Long Ago.” This hymn’d keep the peace awhile longer, on a blessed day. “Keep On the Firing Line.” This hymn got the feud goin’ again. “Every Time I Feel the Spirit”, “The Great Speckled Bird”, “When the Saints Go Marching In”, “I Just Can’t Make It By Myself”, “Down By the Riverside.” The fishermen and sunbathers loved this one… and for obvious reasons. “Standin’ on the Promises.” This here hymn was the church’s sit-down song. They like singin’ “Standin’ On the Promises” whilst sitten on the premises. “Give Me Oil In My Lamp.” This hymn gave folks hope as the lamp oil, at home, got way low before payday.
There was some mighty fine sayin’s that involved barns back-in-the-day, too. Remember that wise ole sayin’, put in the form of a question? “Were ya bornt in a barn?” A’swer: “Why… yeah. Where else?!… stupid question!” And, “That was a real barn burner.” My great great great Uncle Paul originated this sayin’, after his corn squeezin’s developed a leak whilst it was stored secretly in his barn. Well, buddy, the secret got out… ‘bout high noon one day, as that there barn exploded, BLOOOOOWY! … shot up in the air like a civil war cannon ball. That barn was a-burnin’ like a pig’s tail that brushed over the campfire. And, one of the neighbors cried out, “Hey, Paul, what happened?” To which Paul replied, “Well, heck, I got me a real barn burner now.”
Yep, behind those doors are many an-act’vity that cousin Bubba is protectin’. And don’t let those two cross-bars on the doors fool ya none! Theys more than jest cross-bars a-keepin’ those doors secur’d. Theys mighty plain wood lookin’, I admit; but, that’s jest to let them hoodlums be tricked into gettin’ tracked. Can’t say anymore ‘bout it, though. ’cause Ifin I do, I’d be giv’n Bubba’s secrets away. And, that’s the one thing I promised cousin Bubba I’d never do.
… pic I took along my Highway 11E&W photo-taking adventure between Knox and Granger Counties, East Tennessee … looks pretty secure to me!
This photo is deadicated to all them barn owners around the county!
…photo taken in said location and edited in Corel PaintShop Pro X5