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Surreality TV: a Pop Culture Diss

Scene 1:
From every side of a culture filled with “pop”
I could flip through five thousand channels non-stop
Surfing through waves of Pepsi and Spears
wading through starlets primping in mirrors

Oh, Oh!! Its Paris! Never more substantial things to see
I hope her new BFF is Britney, or Whitney…or Whatever
I saw Miss Hilton’s soul walk out of her lithe body
It looked like a cellophane bag filled with pink cotton candy
Walking chin up with Tyra, picking our next Top Model
to marry the next American Idol on a special
edition of “Making the Bachelor of Love”
Oh the Humanity! Oh the Reality!
They found true love on TV….Isn’t life botoxiful??

Scene 2:
I want my MTV!! ….used to be the refrain in my younger days
Rebelling felt great, we stayed up late
VJ’s were the essence of cool
But now no V’s to J…only so many commercials-obscene
shows pick up steam-capped off with reruns
of “My SuperSweet 16”
keeping kids based in reality…right
When did the rebel become the pitchman?
substance fell through the floor
they break necks to homogenize and androgenize
easier to sell to one soulless, brainwashed mass
video killed the radio star? Advertisement killed the artist!!
In other “news”….
someone just stuck a camera in Brad Pitt’s face!!
Here he comes out of his house now, shielding child’s face
He looks annoyed swatting off flashbulb mosquitoes
late for his kid’s doctor exam
…dismissive prick…Click Click Brad ClickClick
If I were a star, there would no doubt
be a paparazzi genocide on my front lawn 

Scene 3:
Tune in! Tune in!
Its Lost 8…strangers, stranded by fate
If on a deserted island…how does the big guy NOT lose weight?
…Meanwhile, back at the lab, producers are working around the clock
To find fake people, thrown in fake situations….feeding the foolish flock
“Alright, I got one”!! “We take ten beauticians…put them through flight school”
Cameras roll to see thong-clad aviators in a battle…
….cattle come to seem them battle, for a job at TWA

The remote-control can warp your soul
Jerry Springer’s the warden in hell
Make’s me ill—like advice from Dr.Phil
not all men are scum, you ass kissin’ bum!!

So I turn to “COPS” for some emotional guidance
nothing settles me down quicker
then seeing a shirtless wife-beater
face down in cuffs…..damn, Dr.Phils onto something….

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Surreality TV: a Pop Culture Diss by 


I can only laugh sometimes. You would hope that someday substance becomes fashionable. Hope away. That will NEVER happen!!

Comments

  • Christie  Moses
    Christie Mosesover 4 years ago

    OMG!! hahaha
    You kick ass!

  • Thanks darlin’! Its kind of a choppy rant-but i got a laugh out of it! xox

    – Steve Voorhees

  • funwrite
    funwriteover 4 years ago

    I would laugh harder if it was’t all so damned true!

  • If I didn’t derive some humor from it i would otherwise get infuriated. I prefer laughter!

    – Steve Voorhees

  • lolowe
    loloweover 4 years ago

    Oh this was frigging hilarious..and so true! What the hell happened to MTV? The only music you hear on that channel anymore comes from the commercials.

    < 3 < 3 < 3

  • RVRFNX
    RVRFNXover 4 years ago

    Hilarious and truthful.

    Great write :)!!

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