My hubby he thinks it’s cute how I close my eyes when those tampon adds come on the telly so I thought “right had enough of my shy and Victorian outlook about the anatomy of women , sex and stuff.
I need my own sexual revolution.
I will be a pioneer for my sexual edification.”
I got some of those….you know those explicit kinda magazines where you see a huge photo-shopped dick and women worshiping it like a credit card with no limit.
I looked and looked, read the story that told how his large monster thrust itself relentlessly into her tunnel of love decorated with pink bits.
A rumbling began in me slowly and deepened in my belly and I went in search of some fruit to please me.
I was friggn starving so I ate an apple felt a bit tired and had a little nap. Perhaps after a good rest I will find my sexual mojo hanging around the bedroom or outside getting a tan using full blockout sun screen.
Protection at all times is the catch cry these days.
While I slept there were no erotic dreams to take me to a liquid land of desire to wet my appetite, no it seems the foreplay of eating an apple seemed to satisfy me quite nicely.
Am I drying up and turning into a vaginal prune?
Even the heat in the bathroom just never gets hot enough for me these days.
I even installed an extra heat lamp but still didn’t break a sweat.
Then a girlfriend told me about one of those ‘Get To Love Your Vagina Workshops’
Well why not I thought…it goes everywhere I go and it’s not like I have to buy or bring anything extra. Just me and my female surprise downstairs.
Well all us ladies sat together with hand mirrors with no idea why.
One of the girls asked if it would be ok if her husband joined the group.
I nearly gagged on my cinnamon donut.
After a laborious hour of saying"your so lovely" to my Ms Vagina with not even one word of thanks, I sat there wondering where was our promised ‘ Orgasm cocktail’ at the end of the workshop.
I arrived back home with my hubby waiting and beaming with that hope that I’d help him in the bedroom.
I did….didn’t take too long and we found that telly remote.
Beware sex education in progress …..