April Mansilla

And I’ve got bit lip worries
Forgot to watch the news
Thought it was Friday on Sunday
Have hallelujah blues

I broke the backs
Of fallen leaves
Forgotten how to pray
Held my hand up …

I dreamt of you last night
Your long fingers
Over blades
Of dried grass
Eyes closed
You never saw the rain coming
Your contentment contagious
Inspiring…
But always so far away

I w…

It began
As this…
Thoughts of shoulder blades
And my mouth completing the dip where
They join
Simple…

Lucky pennies
And fingers
Crawling meekly
Over melancholy laugh lines …

I remember
The apple doll woman
To whom I read the bible
With skin that felt like
Homemade play dough
Encased in worn pantyhose
Breath that crawled with death
And eyes that sifted tho…

I wish only
To be your Sunday
Morning escape
Speaking slowing
Your confessions muffled
Into the soft flesh between my thighs
On grey days
Where everyone
Tells me of the sun they f…

Last night the dreams of marionettes
Paraded in before the lights were out
I would love to run
From
What I am
What was created?
I watched glassy eyed
As there emaciated bodies tear …

My Love.
The one who denies raping my dreams
That flips and twists my body
Like blood covered sheets
In the lucid lavender air
I awaken solitarily to you
Thighs pressed together
To keep …

It is not always going to feel like this
They said…
This insanity
A fragile insect in my hand
With
Half healed paper cuts to feed from
Oh these days
Are
What I still fear
I stretch …

I have searched
For you everywhere
Under spoiled sheets
Faced pressed against indifference
On cold windows
And
Between thighs
Muffled pleas
Of summertime pleasure
Hair wrapped like…

He was here
Again
Last
Night
Pacing
Nervously
By the open window

He
Waited
As my one eye timidly opened
His
Arms open wide
Standing in the way
Where my prayers are to
esca…

I collect secrets,
Given freely and eagerly
To own
But I never share mine
Until now…

Lean in close
Place your ear to my lips
So as not to
Let the words get
Twisted
Like a child…

Tighten your grasp on
Fleeting flesh
Driving though
The
Cruellest
Weather…
Branding my body
With
Your weeping fingertips
I will take upon me
Your
Crimson sunsets
And
The lus…

Sometimes I think I must have seen the dirtiest, ugliest moments to appreciate real beauty .not the kind of beauty that men turn there heads at ,but the one I can feel ,where the sun falls l…

Tonight
The sky is my beloved
Prussian blue
Stains
Of her
Adorn
My flesh

Tonight
The stars
Look meekly at me
To make my habitual
Wide eyed
Wish
The sign of the cross
An…

I lost
Myself
When I
Began dreaming
Of
You…

Thoughts tied on my fingers
To yours
So I can
Pull you awake
Pull you
Under
I do not wish you to be free…

My hands
Ca…

In memory of you
I sometimes
Forget to breathe
Staggered and
Bitter
A demoralizing isolation,
Like an addict lost in his eternal winter
Panic
Realizing that was his last taste
Kno…

I reach
Into your thoughts
As you sleep
I am eternally awake
Bodies
Upon faceless bodies
I wait
Your hips move as the liquid flesh passes over you
Trailing your thighs
Mouth parts …

I know this sadness
Will never leave me
I own that
The night always comes to fast
And lasts too long
Doors open
But nothing ever says goodbye
Except people

But someday
I know
I wi…

Want…
My mouth
With yours
Inhale
Breath
So
Deep
My ribs concave
In
Starvation
At your desire
Want…
To trail
My lips
And tongue
As brail
Along your body
Reading
Your…

The water is still
Warm
As I reach down into
My cold thoughts
I submerge myself under and look up at
My blurry world
Hold my breath for as long as I can
But it is never long enough …