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Different People aren't meant to lead normal lives

Must not lose my focus amidst this numb routine of
riding amonst the expressionless to work on the Sydney System.
My novel still calls. Must buy the tools – a macintosh so I can
write to escape this world. Environment at work is tight – as if
I cannot breathe. Start high and it brings me down. This 9 to 5
syndrome does not empower me – it drains me. Stress or hurt by’
choosing my own path makes me feel alive. I am not one to follow
a predetermined path. Life experience has been too challenging
to withdraw from the game. Quiet souls clicking on the keyboards
no expression or recognition to connect with. Image upon image
with no-where to run – inhibition and company politics
eliminates the difference. To keep a standard position you must conform -
must be reduced to a mindless, expressionless machine. Smart brains
strategise within constraints. Minimalising it all – look at soft faces
it is clear that the soul has been put to sleep.
Routine has reduced the soul to this. Politics we play them.
When I leave I come alive…soon as I step off the train life rushes
into me and penetrates through me. While there I am quiet, stifled and
my spirit weighed down. I pick up the vibes too easily.
No challenge and no creativity it is souless. Cannot allow my
soul to put to sleep. My spirit won’t allow this sleep, this death in life.
Can feel it as it crowds me coming from all directions…creeping, crowding,
squeezing the life out of me. Dragging at my life force – trying to obliterate me.

Under this straight conservative blue suit I wear black satin pants, a suspender belt and black stockings. Sexuality, desire, drive aches under all
this uniformity and rigidity. Wild desire sings her own song and dreams of
a soft heart and free imagination. Professional garments can only restrain
the surface of me for a short while and I must break free again.
My imagination and passion saves me from this emotional death in life.

Some people are meant to live outside the parametres of society.
The creative artist will not let what is acceptable to some, creep in and chip
away at the true free spirit that could live in us all.

But it cannot be ignored. It must be fed and protected.
Because the apathetic disease in society can seep in and rot us from the
inside out.

Anthea Slade
18-4-94

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Different People aren't meant to lead normal lives by 


Having just read through my two draft novels in one week (last week) I found it interesting reading this piece of prose/poetry I wrote in 1994 (15 years ago). My burning desire to write novels has been under my skin for at least 15 years :) Even though I have worked in the corporate or education workplace my entire working life my desire for artistic and self expression has always been my driving passion and the way I have survived the stress of this work-a-day world. I feel I have had to live one, two even three lives just to survive this environment.

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reflection, world, expression, self, corporate, artistic, novel, surviving, anthea, slade

Creating art and writing is like breathing to me, it keeps me alive. If I stop creating my world shrinks and contracts. When I start to create again it expands and is filled with colour. I feel whole. To create is to be completely, unabashedly alive.

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Comments

  • blamo
    blamoover 5 years ago

    Good for you Anthea …………….

  • Oh thanks so much Tone…I have been writing so many years…Reading my two draft novels RAW and RED RAW this past week has had a strange effect of reminding me of some of the pieces I wrote all those years ago. Keeping true to myself and free in my spirit is something I have always felt strongly about because I want to live life fully – live as many dreams as possible in a life time :)

    – Anthea Slade

  • aprilmansilla
    aprilmansillaover 5 years ago

    beautiful Anthea

    this part made me smile ear to ear :)..mush love and support to you on your journeyxxxx

    Under this straight conservative blue suit I wear black satin pants, a suspender belt and black stockings. Sexuality, desire, drive aches under all this

  • April thank you for your wonderful words in response to Different People aren’t meant to lead normal lives. Am glad you like that part that you quoted and that it made you smile. Self expression and creativity is a drive that cannot be ignored and repressed…it needs to be expressed…that is why I like writing and art so much…they keep me sane and make me feel whole. Life is so rich when we are creating isn’t it…adds so much dimension. When I stop creating my life begins to shrink and it starts to lose it’s colour…Creativity forever :) I always love your comments my dear friend April xxxx.

    – Anthea Slade

  • Kylie Reid
    Kylie Reidover 5 years ago

    I can relate to what you say here Anthea and I bet many others can also, well written.

  • Dear Kylie…am so glad you can relate to this piece. It was written as a plea to always remain true to that free creative spirit that lives within and refuses to be squashed by the dumbing down and repression of polite and political society. I really love your comment my friend and I hope you are enjoying a beautiful Australia Day…28 degress is perfect isn’t it?

    – Anthea Slade

  • Renate  Dartois
    Renate Dartoisover 5 years ago

    Oh this is so right to the point Anthea-we are like robots in the work place no matter what you do unless it is creative in some way. We seek comfort in daydreaming a moment or two while no one is watching and yes underneath that suit is the real you black panties and all free and wild.

  • Oh thank you so much my dear friend Renate for beautiful words…yes so much in our work life can be counter and work in opposition to our natural selves and our desire to express our truth. In so many workplaces we are paid money to act a certain way, to express a certain emotion and fit into the company’s expectation. Sometimes these modes of behavour are in direct opposition to our instincts, our imaginations and our hearts. When I was doing my Masters in Adult Education I did a lot of study on emotion and emotional labour in the workplace and wrote some pretty intense essays. I guess it has always been an interest of mine…what is the difference between how things appear on the outside and what they are really inside our hearts. I guess that connects back to the mask theme. I think day dreaming and imagining is a wonderful way to be free and reveal that wild and free spirit that exists under the surface of our physical garments…that conservative blue suit :)

    – Anthea Slade

  • Joh Osborne
    Joh Osborneover 5 years ago

    This is great and very true, society is such a vacume full of rules and suits ready to drain us of our inhibitions, i left the city for a quiet town near the mountains for this very reason to be creative. I love your poem!!

  • Hey Joh thank you so much for your wonderful words…yes work can push us into a vacuum that can be draining…that is why it is important always be true to our inner person and to create and express. For me this is living life fully and being true to my heart. Sounds wonderful that you now live near the mountains…I am sure you must get much inspiration from being in the presence of nature and her beauty. I have always been inspired by nature.,,makes my spirit soar. I am so glad you related to my poem and thank you for your beautiful response Joh.

    – Anthea Slade

  • dannitiller
    dannitillerover 5 years ago

    Oh Anthea – I can so relate to this piece of writing. I’m often left wondering why we waste so much of our precious life on being a cog in the working wheel…. Our souls are truley left to die when we are suffocated by the (at times) unnecessary bullshit that has to go on in order for us to make a living.

    I wish you must creative freedom Anthea..

  • Thank you so much my friend Danni…this was written in my life when the corporate world was very new and the feelings of repression and suffercation extremely raw…thank you so much for relating to my piece and I am definitely making sure that I create constantly to balance out the demands of my work-day-world. Training does offer more room for expression and creativity which I am very thankful for. Thank you for wonderful response Danni and I hope you are very well…it is extremely hot here…44.5 degrees today…sizzling.

    – Anthea Slade

  • lacewren
    lacewrenabout 5 years ago

    So, how do you feel about it now, 15 years on?

  • I feel pretty much the same…only I have now written two and a half draft novels…just need to have them edited and then find a publisher :)

    – Anthea Slade

  • Erika Tirado
    Erika Tiradoabout 5 years ago

    To keep a standard position you must conform -
    must be reduced to a mindless, expressionless machine

    My spirit won’t allow this sleep, this death in life.

    Some people are meant to live outside the parametres of society….Anthea this is so so true! I feel exactly like this when i think of the “usual” life that I could have if I don’t follow what I want…I don’t know if that makes sense, but this piece you have written just confirms that this rotten system has to go…..This is such an awesome pice Anthea. This just speaks to me. Thank you for sharing. xx

  • Wow Erika…I truly love your response to my writing and I understand exactly what you are saying. I feel that I have to always be aware of the effects of the workplace and environment on my spirit and soul. I tried to describe that death of the soul and life that pervades us if we do not feed our inner child and our creative, wild spirit. Your words are really beautiful thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate it so very much. Anthea x

    – Anthea Slade

  • Rhinovangogh
    Rhinovangoghabout 5 years ago

    We wear “fringe” on our sleeve. The horsehair is undeniable. Reminders ubiquitous. The itch is Torquemadian madness. Cacophany buzzes in interminable omniprescence. A horse stands serene on a distant hill at the perimeter breathing freedom. Quiet open fields. Swaying grasses. Languid days. An open universe at night twinkles softly. This normal. This real. This sweet. Heal. Rejoice. Be. relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax. Love what you write.RVG (my unfettered response…)

  • Oh RVG…I adore your unfettered response. How did you know to describe a horse standing serene on a distant hill at the perimetre breathing freedom…is what I dreamed? Taking me back to those days when I rode my horse ladybird (from 10 to 21) to escape into this freedom. I am eternally gratefully that my horse (which is my favourite animal) taught me so much about courage, sensitivity, intuition, strength and freedom….your response is poetry and is a wonderful soul breakfast to greet my day. Thank you so very much for your responses they are transporting. Anthea

    – Anthea Slade

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