If we do not want and we do not need the reward is no pain
But with no pain there is no joy and no expansion
We weave a limited contracted web that is tidy but sterile
Our creativity shrivels and the moisture of our desire dries to grey
Not knowing is forgiven as long as we seek and hunger for more
The urge, ache the perpetual hunger that keeps us moist
Exposing the nerve of vulnerability makes us endlessly raw
Yet with crashing of our emotions comes a powerful release
With no external validation and invisibility comes the taunting
insatiable quest for freedom
Ah creativity the great unfolding.
Without external referencing we fall within and travel the broken odyssey of the unseen
Until the dark night of the soul turns to red when other voices pierce the dark and other desires touch the isolation
Pulsing springing to life – and the re-awakening – to love is not tidy – it is unpredictable and messy but seeping through blood
Senses tingling at the imperfection of our realities
Leaving an opening a potential to connect and touch another’s reality.
Bringing surges and urges to intertwine and feel the beat and burn of another soul. Risking the raw of reality biting to escape the wounds and stand by to see you reading books in your dreams and sleeping in your waking. An endless state of being where mindfulness and passion finally meet and throw us into the turbulent shock of real. A place where bodies dance above the construct of cyberg fantasies and physical truth spins the body into another level of urges verging on spiritual bliss. A sharing of the endless paradise that links us into more than what we are. An orgy of intellectual reaching that leads to physical touching and a hunger that never leaves to connect beyond ourselves and our egos no longer need to be fed because finally it is enough to be just me, with you. Ah do we dare to live a life unshackled by delusion, exposed to the most exquisite fragility and risking the most delectable pain?
To name our want
To define our need
To stumble and fumble into each other
To touch by accident and see where that leads
To smash the safety of intellectual constructs that keep us imprisoned by the dangers of reason
To play without fear
To play with perfect freedom and reach with courage into the emotional unknown where our default emotion is no longer pain
Where the ecstasy of dreams with the pulsing raw of real
and through creative flow reconstruct a moist life that restores the integration of heart with soul with body with mind. Yours ours together a rebirth.
I am distracted by the endless possibilities as the fire explodes inside me and I burn for a new way of relating, seeing and being.
And Prufrock said it so fine ‘Do we dare? Do we dare?’
22 July 2013
© Anthea Slade 2013
Please forgive me. This is raw. I have been struggling with a kind of writers block. So many ideas raging too fast through my mind that it has been hard to hold onto them and pin down.
Here are some of these ideas and musings. I will probably rewrite, deconstruct and reconstruct this but at least it is a start. :)
And thank you T.Elliot for J Alfred Prufrock and Do We Dare?