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The world stopped 2009 03 22

The world stopped in place when I saw myself over my shoulder and I could have touched that which I saw, but I was backwards and my hand did not go in the correct direction, as if in a mirror, although it seemed I was doing everything right.

That day was a bitch. I stood near the highway and counted the cars racing by, and they kept on coming, like pages in a book which one has not read, and of what use is that to me, when they do not speak. My eyes looked over to the side and I saw a simple flower, and it took me a long time to realize that I am looking at it, and I found myself sitting next to it, and I looked at it for a long time, although the cars kept on speeding past, but I didn’t want to hear them anymore and was not in a hurry to get anywhere.

Does anyone know how to find a word one has lost?

The autumn of that year had not yet arrived, and no one was asking it to come, but there in my heard everything began to churn and change position—autumn became spring, then snow outside the window, and it hurts when you know, that between the both of them you are captured and closed in, and the walls are painted black, and the window

There is no such word in this room.

II

You can hear whatever you want, but you cannot always listen. It is hard to hear yourself, and if unprepared, it is not something you want or should do. To admit to yourself that you are guilty, that is half the job, but when another who has your appearance says that to you and points with his finger, it is hard then to suffer it, to endure, because after all you yourself have pointed accusingly at yourself, and yes it’s hard, so hard to confess, and you can’t look away, because then it’s even harder, because you are afraid to meet yourself and there are no crossroads nearby…

Pasaulis sustojo, kai pro petį į save žiūrėjau, ranka galėjau pasiekti tai ką mačiau tik atbulas buvau ir mano ranka ne į tą pusę siekė, tarsi veidrodyje buvau, nors atrodė, kad viską teisingai dariau…
Tą diena buvo sumauta, prie plento stovėjau, skaičiavau mašinas kurios bėgo ir bėgo, tarsi knygos puslapiai neperskaityti, tik kokia man iš to nauda, kai jos nekalba, mano žvilgsnis nukrypo į šalį ir pamačiau paprasta gėlę, labai lėtai susivokiau kad į ją žiūriu ir visai nesusivokiu kaip atsisėdęs šalia žiūrėjau į ją ilgai, nors mašinos vis bėgo ir bėgo, tik jų aš jau girdėti nenorėjau ir niekur neskubėjau…
Ar žino kas nors kaip žodį prarastą atrasti?
Tas ruduo nebuvo atėjęs, niekas jo ir neprašė, tik štai manyje pradėjo viskas vartaliotis, tai ruduo – tai pavasaris, tai sniegas už lango, skaudu kai žinai, kad tarp durų dviejų esi uždarytas ir sienos juodai nudažytos, o langas
Nėra tokio žodžio šiame kambaryje…

II

Girdėti gali ką nori, o išgirsti ne visada. Save išgirsti sunku, o ir nepasiruošęs, nepriimtina, nenorima ir nepageidaujama. Prisipažinti sau pačiam kad kaltas esi, tai pusė darbo, bet kai tau kitas su tavo atvaizdu tai pasakys ir bakstels pirštu-ištverti sunku, pakęsti sunku, juk pats į save pirštą bedei, o kaip sunku, o kaip prisipažinti sunku ir nusigręžti negali, nes dar sunkiau bus ir atsigręžti negali, nes susitikti su savimi bijai ir kryžkelės šalia nėra………

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The world stopped 2009 03 22 by 


Comments

  • Yool
    Yoolover 5 years ago

    Wonderful written my friend !!!

  • billyboy
    billyboyover 5 years ago

    Amazing words Antanas!

  • CanDuCreations
    CanDuCreationsover 5 years ago

    Beautiful, very well written work Antanas

  • Druidstorm
    Druidstormover 5 years ago

    WoW! You blow me away with your words friend!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!…)o(

  • David A. Everitt (aka silverstrummer)
    David A. Everi...over 5 years ago

    Beautifully written and imagery too such beautiful work to add to your collections! instant fav
    - David :>))

  • David A. Everitt (aka silverstrummer)
    David A. Everi...over 5 years ago

    OOps sorry I couldn’t there isn’t a favourite button ……….. but it is a favourite! – David :>))

  • whiterose0777
    whiterose0777over 5 years ago

    Beautiful words and Image xxx

  • roseduggan
    rosedugganover 5 years ago

    Beautiful written work Antanas !!! :)).

  • Mary Campbell
    Mary Campbellover 5 years ago

    This is very deep my friend, from the soul.. It touches me in ways you would not know. For it is that inner voice that makes you feel the reality that you can only observe from within.

  • LjMaxx
    LjMaxxover 5 years ago

    Yes.. I deeply relate to this A> So well expressd this state of mind.. place is. Fav for me too.. Even if I too have no button to press. :)

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