Dancing with the dangerous Mr Brown

It’s been six hours
since he’s filled her
infused her senses
sent her to heaven
brought her to life
It’s been six hours
and the euphoric effects
are slowly wearing down…
she wants more of him
she needs him
to fill her, again
she needs him
she needs him

Right now…

She was only sixteen
six years prior
when they first met
introduced by mutual friends
they flirted playfully
under stuttering strobe lights
in a popular central Cape Town night club
their first kiss was intoxicating,
breathtaking, exciting and invigorating
and she immediately knew
that she wanted more
of him, more of the pleasure
he so freely provided
she enjoyed a chase
and the chase was on
little did she know
about his mean habits
his cruel and selfish nature
his dangerous charms
nor did she realise, or care
that he would change her world
drastically, completely, irrevocably

…sitting against the wall
on the threadbare mattress
on a grimy floor
her eyes frantically searching
where could he be
since there is nowhere
to hide
in her apartment
too small for one
and panic sets in
for he has gone
and left her all alone
NO! …where are you?…

He’s always been a player
I hear he really gets around
he prefers the young girls
with fresh flesh, moist, tender
and innocent
He prays on them
like a killer on the prowl
he seeks them out
and pounces
when they least expect him to
but, he carefully keeps them
just enough to watch them
squirming in the deliciously sticky web
he so artistically weaves

…she has to find him
and knows where to look
she will go and bring him home
so she drives herself
in the battered and rusty old Mazda
into the very bowels of
the devils playground…

She traded her brand new
Peugeot 206
the very day after
receiving it on her 18th birthday
she scored pretty big
on this fortunate trade
what her parents don’t know
won’t hurt them,

…as she reached the edges
of the dreaded Cape Flats
- no place for a girl,
or human, after dark
her palms sweaty
her head spinning
briefly glancing
at the clown
on the passenger seat
yet, there’s no hesitation
she has lost all her fear
and knows where he hides
and she senses that he’s near
he will find her
and she will make him hers

The ‘Flats’ and Blue Downs
truly is a place where the devil
himself will not tread
It is a place on the outskirts of the city
where ambulances gather
on the edges, each night
waiting for heavily armed police
to drag out bodies
of the wounded, the dead
and the dying
It is not a place where you enter
unarmed – a gun or large knife
being a minimum requirement
those who enter these evil slums
do so at peril and should not expect
to return, for this is
Gangsters Paradise
where crime is rife and
blood flows freely down the gutters
where they kill before asking
who you are
what you want
or why you are there
it’s also the place
where he breeds,
this is one of Mr Brown’s favourite

…she parks at a shabeen
still open, at the end of a cul-de-sac
watching from the corner of her eye
the street racers,
a gangster initiation is on the move,
they burn tyres and drag race
down same streets where toddles will play
tomorrow, in the safety of sunlight
there are stolen BMW’s mostly,
and other rich-man’s cars
these are the toys
of the gangster underworld
she fumbles
for the small, crumpled
piece of paper in her pocket
for which she traded
her kettle and last two CD’s
the clown has now gone
but in his place sits
a bowl of sugar candy
and she wants to reach for it
but knows
it will disappear soon
and she waits, silently
for she knows,
he will find her…

over years of abuse
neglect and addiction
at the hands of her friend,
the sweet Mr Brown
she has hardly any possessions
remaining to sell
and sees things that aren’t
really there
but she’ll do what she has to
just to keep him from leaving
as all her friends now deny her
for she betrays and deceives them
never leaving a place empty handed
her parents, too blissfully
as they share her sweet stories
hear her pleas for more study fees
happy to hear her distant voice on the phone
if only they knew
if only they saw
if only…

…he found her, he sure did
in a flash, he was there
this coffee-black man
his gleaming blade entering
through the slightly open
car window
pressing it hard
into her throat
drawing a dribble of blood
his slightly sweet yet putrid breath
expelled closely into her face
but he recognised her
and quickly smiled
flashing a solid gold tooth
as he handed over
some dust
and she breathes
a brief sigh of relief
oblivious to the iron smell
of her own blood
now trickling down
over her right breast
and dripping onto her lap…

by this time
her sweet friend Mr Brown
had robbed her of her innocence,
beaten her dreams out of existence,
raped her reality,
and pimped her future,
ripped her apart,
and ravished her body,
battered her being,
consumed her mind,
devoured her soul,
scavenged every ounce of flesh
from her frail frame
she was left only
with bare and brittle bones

… six weeks ago
the landlady found her
the once sparkling eyes
dull and glazed over
gazing, unseeing
before her
once bouncy blonde locks
now stringy, matted and dirty
her previously glowing young face
had grown hollow, sullen, sunken
with skin paper thin,
gaunt and ghoulish grey
she sat slumped
on the floor
next to the filthy brown toilet
in the grim grimy apartment
really too small for one
this is where she danced
her last dance
and chased
her last chase
her gear and junk
still on the floor
wedged between
her thin thighs..

she never wanted to be
known as a junkie
and refused to use
the known slang for her “H”
she preferred to
refer to the
packet of brown dust
as her “ friend’
her now, 6-hourly lifeline
for in the end
she needed
the shit much more
than she needed air

…but she was not alone
for he was there too
her infamously faithful friend
smiling, he sat
on her blue tinged thigh
a scattering on a small square of foil
for he was the last one
to finally have her
he was, is, and always will be
the dangerous, deadly…
Mr Brown

(more commonly known as Heroin)

and so it was
that Anoux came to the end of her life
in this terribly tragic, true story
only twenty six years old
when buried, not cremated
- she was already truly burnt in life -
all that was left to bury was
a light skeleton of bones
covered with tainted skin
and at this event
where family and friends gathered
shining in his absence was Mr Brown,
as he already went in search of another…

Dancing with the dangerous Mr Brown


--, South Africa

  • Artist
  • Artwork Comments 25

Artist's Description

FEATURED IN Dark Cabaret Oct 2010

This is a long poem-story. It is also a true and sad story to which some, and possibly many may relate. I am sure there are too many similar stories to be told.

In memory of Anoux* who desperately toyed with danger for ten years, before it finally erased her from existence. Also to all the others who got reeled in, seduced by deathly temptations, conned out of their futures and lost their lives through toxic friends with deadly habits…

*Anoux and her story is real…

May 2010

Artwork Comments

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