“I really have to go…”
The message fumbles through my head,
When I realise,
Pure heartbreak rushes through my body.

I don’t know what to say…
Six days, five days…three days, one…
I counted back till I would be whole again
But from the first instant I sensed
A distance.

“Just go”
I regret the words as soon as it’s sent
“Please don’t leave me”
Is what I’m aching to say
But my ferocity wins and the distance between us closes
“GO!”
Each word shatters my heart
Even though you’re reaching out to me I step away.

As I turn my back, I feel your stare weaken
Some words are uttered but my tears drown them out,
Then you’re gone.

My sunglasses conceal my true emotions,
No pain or grief to be seen
Fake smiles create a false happiness
In reality, I’m broken
Conversations exist of a re-useable answer…
“I’m good thanks”
Friends given a mask of my true state
“If this one gets in, he’ll stay…”

Trust in my family makes me smile
But loneliness soon settles in,
Aching tears roll down my already worn cheek.

Footsteps echo down the stairs…
“Where’s my hat?”
You’re here.
But it’s not the person I know on the inside,
Something’s shifted.

A kiss is pressed delicately on my neck
It revives my feeling briefly
Tingling everywhere,
Then more tears.

I unfold myself onto the keyboard,
My body models something broken and incomplete
Emptiness…