Dream Reel

Author: AndrewJP
Word Count: 306
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Dream Reel

Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
Is false hope better than no hope?
I don’t know :(

Dream Reel belongs to the following groups:

All Out Emotion, All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical and The Art of Pain

Play the film.
I find you in the kitchen, with the light from the window crisping your hair to gold. “What’s for tea?” I ask.
“Lasagne,” you answer.
My stomach rumbles. I slip my hands around your waist, and whisper, “What’s for dessert?”
Freeze-frame. The picture curls around the edges.

We bounce along a cobblestone road in a tiny Italian car, with the green of the sea on our right. “You have no idea where you’re going, do you?” You ask.
“Yes I do.”
“Uh-huh.”
I smile, and you pretend to be cross with me.
Freeze-frame. The picture shrinks and flakes.

I stand on a raised platform, staring down an aisle. My pulse booms in the cavernous space. Sunlight catches on white lace, and my breath leaves me.
Freeze-frame. Spots appear, and the image turns yellow.

I am at my computer, working on my new novel. The plot is forgotten when I see you enter the room, your eyes charged with emotion. I move to you and warm your trembling hands with mine. “What is it?”
“Andrew, I have the most wonderful news…”
Freeze-frame. The picture blackens, until I can no longer see the blue of your eyes.

Rewind to tonight. It is dark, and I am making desperate sounds into the receiver.
You are calm.
“Andrew, I don’t have feelings for you anymore. We don’t have a future together.”
My hopes and dreams, all of the contents of that film reel, are suddenly nothing more than dust in my palm.

I am completely alone, now. Forever has taken on depth and breadth. The skin of my face is tight with dried tears. I’m on my knees, and I no longer have the strength to rise.
Can someone give me a hand up?

ArcadiaTempest

Geezzz…this is sock it to you in the emotional guts. I am not asking if this is a personal write but holy shit….it felt incredibly personal and felt like I was intruding on a very dark moment. Penned with full blood emotion Andrew….this is what I call a free heart write. XX
AndrewJP replied

Hi KarenSue. Yes, this one is straight from the heart… shattered as it may be lol.
Every time I read this, the pangs of shame and remorse get weaker and more distant, so I know I’m on the road to recovery. I’ve found that having your dreams taken away has an odd calming effect, as if there’s nothing left to worry about. But I guess now I can start building new dreams.
Thanks for the kind words :)
oneperfectkiss

I’d give you a hand up but I’m on the floor too…..whew, what a write!! xx
AndrewJP replied

Thanks :) Maybe we can give each other a hand up :)
greeneyedlady

God how i wish i didn’t understand this…._Forever has taken on depth and breadth. _
this reminds me of some dark moments of my own….fantastic piece, i must read more of you when time permits :)
AndrewJP replied

It helps to know I’m not alone in having felt this way :)
littlestmonkey

Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
Is false hope better than no hope?
I don’t know :(
What a question….I think your comment sums up your piece…..I don’t know either…I wish someone would tell the world! How absolutely heartbreaking.
You have expressed this beautifully here….thank you for sharing your pain with us…..Mauren:) ♥
AndrewJP replied

Hi Mauren, thanks for the comment. I hope I don’t have too much else to write about on this subject, lol
sandraellen

Wonderful read….....love the way you have constructed this and the lateral images you conjure.
Love the way you have used ‘freeze-frame” to change the readers direction (well mine, hehe)
“The skin of my face is tight with dried tears.” Can so ‘feel’ this line….thanks for the share
sandra xx
AndrewJP replied

Thanks sandraellen, I appreciate the comment
Kristin Reynolds

This is brillaint writing. wow, I’ve been there, you captured it perfectly. awesome! Kristin
AndrewJP replied

Thanks Kristin, that means a lot to me after reading some of your amazing work :)
msdebbie

Andrew, such a tremendous piece. Although I used to love the song freeze-frame, methinks this will be the only association I have to that word for a while. Although it packs an emotional punch to the reader (and undoubtedly yourself), I am so moved and touched by the ending: Can someone give me a hand up?
It just feels like such a careful plea from the heart. Hopefully without sounding trite, I’d love to extend a helping hand and splendid hugs for you :)
AndrewJP replied

Thankyou for your insightful comment, Ms Debbie. Yes, this was definitely a plea for help on my part… Sometimes it’s easier to ask for help from people I’ve never met before than my closest friends and family. I’ll happily accept a helping hand and your splendid hugs :) :)
msdebbie

Hello again, like Maureen above, I too loved the description to this wondeful poem:
Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
Is false hope better than no hope?
I don’t know :(
Such good questions – and I also know what you mean about assistance from people you’ve never met. Often easier and less judgmentalism involved (as much as our friends and familty might love us, they sometimes bring too much knowledge or prejudice or bias to a situation to actually provide the help we really need…but not always, so hopefully you find at least one of them who will make you feel a bit better while you’re working through things). Anyway, hugs, love and laughter for you Andrew; you’re in my thoughts xoxo Deb xoxo
AndrewJP replied

Thanks again Deb. Splendid hugs right back atcha lol
erika15

oh wow…incredibly intense with emotion. One of the most emotionally and powerfully charged pieces I’ve read in a while. And the way it’s written just adds to the pain. I hope you aren’t feeling like this anymore.
AndrewJP replied

Thanks Erika. Yeah I wrote this one about ten minutes after getting off the phone to the person mentioned in this piece, so I think it’s a pretty accurate snapshot of how I was feeling at the time. Had I waited a day or a week before penning my thoughts, I’m sure it would have come out completely different. But I’m glad to say I’m feeling much better lately. Thanks for the thought :)