Nemesis

He walked amid
The beech and oak
And sunlight caused
The shadow leaves
To dapple every step.

Although he was alone,
with no one by his side,
He was not lonely,
for he had his thoughts
To give him comfort as he trod.

The day was warm
And gentle zephyrs played
A merry game
with all the fallen leaves
That had forsook
their summer home
too soon.

And, as he walked,
he thought upon his life
and upon his friends
of whom he had seen little
than enough of late.

Until that day, he knew
He would not die
Before he’d done
All there was to do
But now, he felt his age.

But no one would have ever said
that he was old and forty-three
is but the prime of life
and yet, he knew
that he had had enough.

What reason or main purpose
left undone, was crying out
in loud demanding voice,
that life was good,
if only day by day.

None that he could think of
Under summer sun and looking up,
As if to find as later path,
He held the pistol to his head
And said goodbye.

C: Bailey 2010

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The futility of despair.

After a working lifetime spent in visual communication of one sort of another, Andrew is now happily retired and living in peace and harmony with the world and his adored wife Bonnie, a retired opera singer and active voice teacher. They live in north Devon UK.within 10 minutes walk from the sea.

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Comments

  • Christie  Moses
    Christie Mosesalmost 5 years ago

    Oh this is so sad Pop :(( Heartbreakingly so. Deep despair makes some do such painful things. What of the people they leave behind? The ones who love them? :( I had a friend end his life tragically, and the lingering after effects are numerous.

  • The people we leave behind is probably the only reason I am still here, Christie. I was suicidal after my marriage broke up but common sense and strength of character (mine) won through in the end especially when I thought of the terrible sorrows I would be inflicting on my children by saying goodbye in such a way. Now I am happy to be alive and am determined to enjoy every minute i have left.

    – Andrew Bailey

  • Cosimo Piro
    Cosimo Piroalmost 5 years ago

    A sad last resort Andrew….one that can never be undone…..great pain and numbness to reach this place…..great pain and numbness for the people left behind to make sense of it. Nobody wins.

  • JRGarland
    JRGarlandalmost 5 years ago

    I lived too close to them days for a long time. The one thought that turned my thinking completely around was my son. What would he think if I were to go that route?

  • Exactly so, JR. That’s why I am still here.

    – Andrew Bailey

  • Rikki Woods
    Rikki Woodsalmost 5 years ago

    I keep writing and deleting, so I’ll only say this is heartbreaking.

  • It is sad, is it not.

    – Andrew Bailey

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