I’m feeling like Nicki Lauder, the Austrian-born driver who became trapped inside his Ferrari at the Nürburgring in 1976 after it swerved off the track and then bounced back into the path of the oncoming cars, completely engulfed in flames. Four other drivers went to save him (fellow driver Guy Edwards, Harald Ertl, Brett Lunger (who both hit the burning wreck) and the Italian driver Merzario (“the man I have to say thank’s to be here”, as Nicki said), after pulling the severely burnt 27-year-old from his vehicle.
Now what has this got to do with me? I don’t really know but it has been on my mind all day. I guess, it is because I am going for interviews tomorrow and have crashed and burned so often, that I have lost my nerve. So I think of Nicki because he did not lose his nerve. Strangely and so very bravely, he climbed back into his Ferrari in Monza, the same year!! and carried on for a large part of the race and then simply stopped beside the track and wept.
All that pain and suffering just caught up with him. And I feel that the old saying about “getting up off the floor” or “getting back on the horse”, is not always true and that the fear of failure is so very, very real.
But I will be back on the horse tomorrow and I have promised myself and my dear friend that I will “stay in the moment” and simply be “myself”. For whom else could I possibly be?
But still I think of Nicki and he will always be my guide.