A FUN DAY IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

I love driving my car. It’s my favorite form of masochism. I mean, it really gives me a thrill to head out on the freeway on a crowded Monday morning. Even more fun is Friday between four to six p.m. Anyone can tell you, there’s no sweeter feeling than to be jammed in, bumper to bumper, turtling along at five miles per hour on a hot, sweaty, thermal inversion day, sharing the marvelous experience with a half million fellow drivers who obviously enjoy the adventure as much as I do.
I adore the expressions on the people’s faces. They are so thoughtful to take the time out of their busy day just to entertain me and our other highway companions. Their language is often equally colorful…and they are always so friendly, making the special effort to wave at me and others as well, sometimes with a clenched fist and other times making strange salutations with their fingers. I haven’t been able to interpret what these signs mean, but I sign back at them so that they won’t think I’m ignorant or a snob or something like that.
The games they play are fun too. For instance, once traffic is buzzing along at a happy 50-55 mph, I’ll signal to enter into the next lane. At this point, the driver in the next lane, seeing my signal, steps on the gas to keep me from gaining points by pulling in front of him. This move is followed by everyone else in line behind him. This can become very exciting as I must finally ‘punch’ it and maneuver my 12 ft. tin beast into a 10 ft. slot, which is by no means an easy feat. When I finally manage to squeeze into an opening, I am immediately heralded with the heartwarming sound of the friendly driver behind me, honking his horn to let me know that I didn’t scratch his bumper.
The real fun comes when it’s time to exit. If I should let my mind wander for a moment, which can happen after sniffing wonderfully intoxicating carbon monoxide fumes for 30 minutes to an hour or more, then I may notice my off-ramp whiz by at 55 mph…to late to slow down, and no points gained for slamming on my brakes and backing up. Then I get to take the exciting downtown tour and get to know the other tourists and local inhabitants…but that’s another story.
I don’t really mind a trip to San Diego, but not when I was trying to go to Disneyland.
So, there you have it, a fun way to spend a day in Southern California…for the modest sum of $60 dollars a tankful. Y’all come back now…y’hear.

© amari, amarica. All Rights Reserved.

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driving, freeway, written, southern, humorous, california, amari, amarica and cscompmar08