It’s kind of fucked up how much I wanted you.
what I thought of you, what you meant to me.
The way you held me and kissed me throughout the night.
Never was there a fight.
You were mine and I was yours unofficially together, hand in hand.
we’d gaze at the stars like gazing into each others eyes.
searching for that surprise of what’s inside.
There was nothing more I wanted than those blue eyes to be mine.
Just to be mine.
But I deserved to be happy and so did you dear.
I wish you would have opened up, I wish you didn’t live in fear.
Of love, of falling in love.
It could have been us.
you & I
together until we die.
But love is a lie,
love hurts and love dies.
But we didn’t have any of that at all.
I did but you didn’t fall.
You crushed my heart.
Pieces falling apart.
picked up by another and put back together as we part
Just know you had me from the start.
You had me from the start.
And I sat there in a room of blue,
my ex’s place writing this poem on his computer for you.
He had his guitar out singing me the blues but it was you that I was thinking about.
Those heart broken blue eyes screaming to me the truth
But I didn’t listen
For almost 2 years your blue eyes were missing.
& I thought about you thru 2 relationships, I always compared them to you.
Your arms, the way your eyes glisten when you smile,
or how you looked at me like you were in a trance or under a spell.
I blamed you, but it was really me who ripped you apart.
and for 2 years I’d drunkenly text you “I love you, I love you, I love you” while you had pictures with her on your wall.
It was all my fault.
You tried to get me back, you poured out your heart and I pretended not to care…
I chose a guy who could take me on a fucking date rather than someone who thinks I’m more beautiful than are the stars.
You deserve all the stars.
& If you think I’m all the starts then you deserve much more than me.
But two years later you’re here watching me now.
Your blue eyes from the back of this room cheering me on from afar.
& you talk about my black rimmed glasses….
the ones I had when I first moved out here
Reminiscing about things I thought you’d forgotten
and I’m lucky.
I’m so fucking lucky to have you back
Your arms around me, you kissing my neck.
& those pieces that “he put back together”
always belonged to you, my heart always longed for you.
I can’t apologize enough for what I put you through,
Why you’re giving me another chance I have no clue…
My soul mate is how I’d define you,
I’m not sure how you feel, but I know how I feel about you
& I promise I’m telling the truth when I say I love you and your baby blues.