Big Brown Bug

The NERVE of some … things!

Here Eye am, enjoying a fine repast with an even finer compañera —all the good stuff too: superb victuals & drink, sweet strains of soft jazz in the background whilst sitting on the veranda, soft, warm, steady breeze, engaging, provacative conversation & laughter, lookin’ good and smellin’ even better … Eye mean: Day-umm … what more could a Brotha want?

—THEN … Duh Duh DUHNNNN … it HAPPENED.

Eye become aware of this bizarre, clumsy, buzzy, clattering noise; fits & starts.

But, because of the lighting, we can’t quite make out what the hell it is or just where the sound is coming from …

Micro-movement catches my peripheral vision, just as Eye am stunned by the screeching of my date and the grip of her nails in my forearm.

My squinting eyes follow hers, which are now widening …
THERE, on my plate below, is a sight to behold.

My Ravioli has been … COMMANDEERED, by a BIG Brown Beetle!
—Sukka landed right ON the piece I was just gonna eat!

Almost sprayed my red wine all over her sexy white dress.

As soon as Eye looked down, this little moe foe lifts his body UP into Combat Mode, clearly saying: “WHUT??” —’Choo gonna do?? Huh!??

Eye could not BELIEVE this.

My manhood was being challenged in front of a beautiful woman by an an … insect, that had decided to use my PLATE as his foxhole!!

WHO does this little bugger think he IZZ?? —Eye should chew yo’ little ass UP, out of sheer SPITE.

Then, Eye realized that beetles don’t have asses.

We started crackin’ up; laughing so hard out of the sheer absurdity of it all that we embarrassed ourselves to Joy.

He would NOT be moved.

So’ Eye ate around him; he: warily maintaining combat mode —mandibles At The Ready …

But here’s the kicker.

As soon as Eye ate my last piece of delectable delight, swallowed my final swig & placed the glass on the table … this little ass-less wonder took wing & flew straight away into the blackness of the night.

… Mission Accomplished.

The NERVE …

Big Brown Bug

Alvin-San Whaley

Your Mind, United States

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