Occasionally I get sick of all the praise Leonardo receives for his scribbles. I have nothing against the guy – he definitely had an adventurous mind, with an immense passion for exploration. But let’s see the results. A helicopter that did not fly. A low quality fresco (“The Last Supper”) that began to deteriorate as soon as he finished painting it. And last but not least, a portrait of a woman with questionable beauty who is supposed to have a mysterious smile. I mean come on! What a distortion field. Even Steve Jobs could be jealous!

So this is my Mona Lisa of the 21st Century. It depicts, of course, me. Am I beautiful enough? No. Are my lips radiating mystery? You wish. But there is something in my eyes… just look at them. Look closer. CLOSER. Can you see the reflection of the first real manuscript of the Old Testament in them. There you have it. Now hang me in the Louvre and ban flash lights.

Of course the point of this masterpiece is not only to ridicule. There is a whole new dimension in this quite original Rothko-esque background. I’m sure Mona would be jealous, if only she was alive.