Broken Doll
‘Mum, I asked you not to accept anymore packages,’ Marisa sighed.
‘Why shouldn’t I?’ Sophia demanded petulantly, ‘He loves you. He is a good man and you broke his heart.’
‘He’s a rich man,’ Marisa spat out, ‘that’s what counted, right?’
‘You insult me now?’ Sophia waved an admonishing finger at her daughter, ‘The way you insulted him by walking out one week before the wedding! You should be glad of a man that overlooks such selfishness and still lavishes her with so many surprises everyday…’
The room spun. Sophia’s continued rant faded to white noise. For a moment there was nothing but that memory of the last day Marisa had seen her fiancé. Things had been tense between them for awhile but Marisa had put it down to pre-wedding jitters on both of them. He’d been so thoughtful, so loving and generous during their courtship that his temper had seemed out of character.
That last night, Marisa saw the true face behind the mask he’d been wearing.
They had been arguing over something so trivial that Marisa had forgotten what it was about.
Flying into a sudden rage, he had punched Marisa in the stomach. Ribs aching and the wind blown from her lungs, Marisa hadn’t a hope as he had picked her up and hurled her against the wall.
Stunned and in excruciating pain, Marisa had just lain there as he leaned in over her. His eyes had looked suddenly gentle.
“Looks like I broke my pretty doll,” he’d smiled, “Hope I won’t have to get a new one.”
‘Can’t you see how much he wants you back?’
Sophia’s shrill tone pulled Marisa back from the memory with a jolt.
‘Do you want to see what he’s been sending me, Mum? Do you want to know what he really wants?’
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she pulled open the stack of boxes and upended them on her bedroom floor. She heard Sophia gasp, felt – more than saw – her mother’s shock. Collapsing on the bed, Marisa stared disconsolately at the mound of broken dolls on the carpet.
Comments
Hi Alison, ‘Marisa’ was a very lucky girl to have the nerve to call the wedding off! I can understand Sophia wanting the ‘best’ for her child but this can often cloud judgement when societies pressures overide any emotional needs. I say (to any young folk I meet now in love and/or thinking about marriage or a relationship) to consider how they’d like to be living a life with the partner’s ‘BAD SIDE, HABBITS, IDEALS’, ……then decide!
Great, emotive piece Alison. Smiles from Cobie :-)
Thanks Cobie :)
– Alison Pearce
Wow!!…Powerful work, Alison… :-))
Thanks Sue :)
– Alison Pearce
Run Maria! Run!
Allison this reminds me (sadly) of many conversations that I have had with woman during the course of my life. Often with a group of woman together. Its about thier solid agreement that a woman does not marry the one they love, or for love.
Men i know that are ass holes in the way they treat and talk of woman, seem to know this and even like it.
It is primal of some men like this (rarely emotion beings) to arrogantly perceive a woman wants him for reasons of security, power, and position in life’s class structure.
This is a powerful write. Women, survival. love, power, and violence, and choice. Good work.
Especially the Mother’s denial as the the foundation of realization in the story here.
Thanks CC. It’s frightening enough to know so many are in violent situations – that they are still victimised after finding the courage to leave is intolerable. The law moves much to slowly for these people
– Alison Pearce
Good tension in the build up of the story, Alison, and a satisfying jolt of an ending.
Thank you :)
– Alison Pearce
Holy shit!…….you have set the bar really high, Alison. You have become quite a master of these twisted tales, this was excellent. I am rusty as a nail dropped in a stream…..I can’t wait for the next challenge though, I’ve really missed TT. When you win, come up with a good prompt, okay! :) Solar
You flatter me way too much Solar!!
– Alison Pearce
Sheesh! Okay… who cares about money! I never find men who give a lot gifts to be very loving myself. ha ha
LOL!
– Alison Pearce
Woot!
Thank you!!
– Alison Pearce
CONGRATULATIONS ALISON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FANTASTIC WRITE>>>>>>>
Thanks Vickie :)
– Alison Pearce
Fantastic Alison! Great win and great suggestion for the next prompt too! Smiles from Cobie :-)
Thanks Cobie :)
– Alison Pearce
Another excellent piece, Alison! And it agrees with my philosophy of having long engagements! One is much more likely to find out about this sort of character flaw with a long engagement. People get married much too soon for my tastes. But enough about my thoughts. And congratulations for your win! An admirer! JH
Thanks Jim :)
– Alison Pearce