Theilc kicked moodily at a stone that had come loose from the footpath. He looked up at the girl walking quietly by his side, her long dark ponytail swinging like a pendulum as they walked.
‘I guess I should thank you for standing up for me,’ he said.
‘Hmm, you don’t sound too thankful, Theilc,’ she glanced at him with a mischievous smile.
Stopping in front of a house hidden from view by an avenue of tall, thick hedges, Theilc turned to face her. She was a girl in his new class, very pretty, with kind, sparkling eyes and a smile always seemed to be tugging at her lips.
‘Sorry, Asha,’ Theilc blushed, ‘I am grateful – it’s just embarrassing to be protected by, well you know…a girl.’
Asha smiled broadly again, ‘Because it would have been much less embarrassing to be bashed up in front of everyone on your first day, is that it?’
With his face reddening further, Theilc shook his head, ‘No, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m used to the teasing, we move around a lot, I guess I’m just not used to anyone else standing up to the bullies.’
This time they both smiled as they remembered the incident at lunchtime that had started off their fledgling friendship. Theilc, as he knew would happen, had been teased relentlessly about his unusual name. Finally he’d rounded on a boy in the seventh grade, two years older than he and Asha, and had shouted at him to shut his face.
The large boy had growled angrily and raised his fist, ready to punch Theilc in the nose when Asha had jumped in front of Theilc and told the boy to back off. To Theilc’s surprise, he had. It turned out that Asha’s father was the school principal.
‘Do you mind if I ask how you got your name?’ Asha’s voice broke the silence that had fallen as Theilc had remembered the incident.
‘Mum’s idea,’ he shrugged, looking down at his feet, ‘She wanted to name my after my six uncles but she thought that Trevor Harold Eric Ian Lance Colin Andrews was too much of a mouthful, so she just used their initials instead. Not much of a compromise, right?’
He looked up, expecting to see her laughing, but she was not even looking at him. Asha was staring into the hedges over his shoulder, her eyes as round as saucers.
‘Theilc! Look!’ she pointed behind him.
Turning quickly he saw a small pointed face watching them from the bushes. The little man was only as tall as a garden gnome, his skin a greenish colour that almost blended into the leaves. His ears were pointy and his eyes dark and beady.
‘You are the Theilc?’ the odd little person asked.
‘I am,’ Theilc answered warily.
‘You must come. Bring your friend.’
The leaves and interlaced branches spread out, forming an arch for Asha and Theilc to pass through. Sharing a look of bewilderment, Asha and Theilc nodded to each other and stepped inside the cavern created, the arch closing behind them.
© Alison Pearce 2008
Theilc - Part One
First part of a children’s fantasy book I’m working on. Critique welcomed.
Juni, 3 months ago
sounds exciting, think kids would love it! I would like to know more about the kids themselfes – how old they are, how they look,... before letting them enter into the hedge or whatever it is… and – if theilc says his mother used the initials – shouldnt his name than be theilca?? (stupid question?)
Alison Pearce in reply to Juni’s comment, 3 months ago
Great points Juni, thanks for your input! You know, his last name is supposed to be “Andrews” but now that you mention it, that makes the name even more complicated! Thanks again
sastro, 3 months ago
I love this – and now I really want to know what happens next. I don’t think their age is important initially. The odd clue later, maybe, but if you start with an age it can turn away some of your audience bef0ore they have got into the plot. I know many 9 year year olds in my class who would love this- may it continue in the same ilk!
Alison Pearce in reply to sastro’s comment, 3 months ago
Thanks Sastro! I really appreciate your thoughts there about age, perhaps knowing they are school age is opening enough?
sastro, 3 months ago
Yes absolutley. Most children will automatically picture themselves or friends of theirs in the role of each character so it is important to keep that option open until they have sunk themselves into the plot. I look forward to the next installment.
coppertrees, 2 months ago
Ok I am reading for info on the char. Like the story and I think th children will too.
Alison Pearce in reply to coppertrees’s comment, 2 months ago
Thanks Vickie. Perhaps I should mention here too that Asha is a Hindi name meaning hope. So I envision her as a young Indian girl, Theilc, I think I may leave open to interpretation merely mention him as having brown hair and hazel eyes so that children can identify with his character as they wish. Would that work, or too complicated?
coppertrees, 2 months ago
That will work just fine,You mentioned she had long hair in a pony tail,I have a vision of her. Theilc I will think on.