I don’t know why I’m here. If they are trying to wear me down they have succeeded. I don’t have the will to plead or protest or resist any more, or even to come up with a lie ………

I don’t know who they are …. don’t recognise the uniform. Not your uniform, my corporal, not one of yours ……

I close my eyes and see you in the early morning light, watching the clouds form and rise over the distant mountains. I would watch you from the house and wonder what thoughts were going through your mind. I never asked, never joined you …… that was your private time, before the rest of us were up. But I can join you now ….. escape into that special place and stand beside you. The rising sun warms my face. I don’t speak a word, don’t touch you, in case I break the spell and fall back into the cold darkness of the cell. All I need is to stand beside you, feel how safe that used to feel.

……. have they left me to die here ….. no-one’s been back since they hosed me down ……. they don’t know what to do with me …… cold …… cold, numb …… I close my eyes and you’re not there anymore ……. no warm sunrise …… I’m going to die here ….. scared, so scared….. thought I was strong, could handle anything ….. not strong, not ….. you’d be disappointed in me, my corporal ……. you picked me because you thought I was strong ………. I close my eyes but you’re not there ….. are you angry because I left you …… do you hate me …… I didn’t understand, I’m sorry ….. sorry …….

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