There are Nutella thieves among us
For those of you who may have missed it, an unknown individual or individuals made off with over 5.5 tons of that perfectly scrumptious concoction known as Nutella yesterday. Now I have received numerous notifications (lots and lots actually) about this from the likes of +Christopher Germano +Matt Austin to name just a few and I can assure you all (as well as the authorities in Niederaula, Germany) that I have an airtight alibi. The folks at Jacques Torres Chocolates in Brooklyn have me on surveillance tape casing the joint waiting oh-so-patiently for their chocolate chunk cookies. And while my recent trip to Georgetown University with my son did include a slow (and what might have seemed slightly suspicious) drive-by of the nearby Belgian and French Embassies hoping they might be handing out samples of their respective pride and (chocolatey) joy, I can assure you all that my intentions were honorable and the creamy brown residue on my fingers was simply some leftover nutella brownie batter from an attempt to self soothe myself after the bad day i had. Besides, where would i keep 5.5 tons of nutella? Certainly not in the new recently completed underground hideout storage shed. Plus, It’s too soon to be filling swimming pools or vintage water beds.
Now that’s my story and that’s all I’m saying ’til my lawyer gets here.