Well my life has taken me right back to the place I was this time 9 years ago. Only this time the circumstances are different and I am a lot wiser (well one would hope.). As this is early days I am not sure if it is going to be harder this time or easier, or just different. Some things have gone back to the same; I had nothing then have nothing now. I still have my kids but they are obviously much older now. I have a job I love this time that I didn’t have before.
There is always the fear hidden down deep inside me that I try to not think about, and that’s the fear of ending up alone. The kids are still here for the moment but they are growing up fast and will soon be out venturing on their own lives and what the world has out there to offer them. I am sitting here biding my time till I am completely all alone again. I know I can survive, I have the ability to bounce back from all that life has poured out on me over the years, so I am sure of survival but I can’t be assured of companionship and that closeness you have of a significant other in your life. That shoulder to lean on in troubled times, that companion to giggle with and enjoy the good things in life with.
So as I venture down this path in my life once again, I will venture with open eyes looking out for whatever life has to offer me. I will not pity myself for being alone but I will have forever open arms waiting for a special someone to come and share life with me, and if it never happens that I find love once again, I will give all I have to the family and friends around me to make sure not one ounce of my love is wasted.
My life’s new season