What is happening in my life, she came back it made me whole but what the fuck happened.I tried my best to please her but instead I just destroyed her, I was such a bad influence on her , I know she loved me very much and had forgiven me for what I had done to her months earlier but I still could see it hung heavily over my head. Every little mistake I made and instantly a brick wall would appear.I never really realized how much I had hurt her till now, but everything I tried seemed to be wrong. I guess my selfish needs always come first with me and even though I try to put others first I got in the way. I wanted so much to make it right and I felt like she made me whole but then cracks where starting to appear. I was never sure what kind of mood she’d be in with me each time I saw her. I would make dumb arse mistakes around her not meaning to but everything was falling apart and I just didn’t know how long I was going to be able to handle everything , I was being stretched further than I had ever been before. I had my own issues, my own skeletons in the closet, so how was I supposed to deal with her needs too.Then we met up with an old friend of hers she seemed to click with him instantly, I told her I wasn’t jealous, but that’s a lie. I could see I was losing her to him. So I did what I thought was right I ended it with her. I felt so justified, coz after all wasn’t she doing with him, what I did to her those many months ago. Holy Crap what I am feeling now is how she must of felt all those months earlier and the pain hurts like hell.OMG I just realized something, I wasn’t good for her at all, all I ever did was hurt her and I am sitting here on my high horse complaining because she hurt me but I was the first offender. I brought this all on myself. Now to make things worse I have found out that she never cheated on me at all. But it is true we are so better off without each other, she needs someone who can love her better than I did, who won’t compromise her beliefs for his own gain. I know that little girl loved me and for a while I was whole again but I became whole again at her expense.
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forget i posted that…please delete it…there is more reason then what you wrote to what i did…and what you wrote isnt really how i saw it…
– Lindy -Jane
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