Jackhammer

Adrena87
Author: Adrena87
Word Count: 125
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Jackhammer

hitting 40 is cracking my skull like a jackhammer

I thought 30 was bad… starved myself for months to fit into a tiny bikini…
in denial… trying to behave as though “age doesn’t matter”... like the old adage of “size”...

it may not matter to many… or most…

but by damned it matters to me.

inside i feel like the 25 year old Barbie of yesterday…
inside i feel every leather worn wrinkle of my years.

my fear

dying alone

before i’ve done everything i’ve wanted to do… or failed to start.

where the hell did 10 years go?
how is it possible that the days drone ON and ON…
yet the years… fleeting moments… zipped by me…

without my consent.

  • ellamental

    ellamental

    Hey ,perhaps this will cheer you a bit…. The older you get the younger old is, when you are 60 40 will seem young!!!!! Also,everybody is getting older at the same rate that you are. Happy Birthday sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Adrena87 replied

    Thank you, doll! I appreciate you! Thanks for a kick ass year of support, too! You’re fantastic!

    P.S the ole gal still has some tread on her, yet… at least in her head (wink, wink, nudge)

  • robpixaday

    robpixaday

    (((((((hugs)))))))
    It gets better, if you let it. Truly.
    Don’t fight the days, and the years will blossom for you.
    I’ll be 58 in a few months….and wouldn’t be 40 or 30 again for anything. Well, maybe if someone gave heaps of $$$$...LOL… and sure, I’d like parts of my “young” body back, but everything else? Nope. 40 was good. 50 was better.

    Just let it be…....

    (((((morehugs)))))

  • Adrena87 replied

    Ooooo… Have I told you lately that I love you? LOL
    Hey… as I figure… the alternative I really don’t want… I suppose I was feeling a bit selfish this morning… at least I have my health… good friends… a great hubby… and I have many to love.
    You are right… I am richly blessed.

  • robpixaday

    robpixaday

    And: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

  • Adrena87 replied

    Thank you!!!

  • robpixaday

    robpixaday

    And this is a beautifully written piece!!!!!

  • Adrena87 replied

    Thank you thrice! hehehehehe
    Big hugs to you…

  • raymondoantonio

    raymondoantonio

    Ditto all of the above! We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t feel fear. Keep busy and focused on your creativity and your friends.

  • Adrena87 replied

    Do I hear a second? Any oppose?

    Seriously, thanks so much for understanding my insecure ramblings, raymondoantonio!

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