An Examination of Sorts.

The last time we made love
Was the first time I made love

Before then,
It was just sex

Thank you!

You wont be seeing me again.

  • * * * * * * * *

I used to wonder what love was
As we all did in our equilateral youth
And I spent many a dollar trying to find it
But it has all turned to be of no use

I was always substituting love for sex
With lust the emotional barometer –
I’d chart the highs and lows of my journeys
With the precision of a cartographer

My maps are not some intricate maze though –
Instead their course was clear
To bed the beauties of my youth
And hold not one of them near

It’s not that I’m incapable of love
You have proved that I’m not
It’s just that the gift of giving
Is a present I just haven’t got

I’ve tried it once or twice
But it’s just not my cup of tea
So if you’re looking for the fulfilment of love
You’d better stay clear of me.

  • * * * * * * * *

You have not heard from me in a while –
Well I’m sorry

I’ve been kept really rather busy of late –
Well I’m sorry

The love I’ve spoken of for years I’ve only just felt –
Well I’m sorry

To tell you the truth I’ve been lying to you –
So I’m sorry

The honesty of us is all that’s left now –
So I’m sorry

I just cant be this real with someone so close –
So I’m sorry

  • * * * * * * * *

The convenience of being
Is not really being at all
When that convenience twists and bends
What it is that it’s made
Into something quite new

The convenience of us is all that’s left
And I can’t do it anymore

It’s too easy now
I love you.

So watch me do my usual:
Mad dog it out of here
With coward’s tail clearly
Out of sight

Shoved up between my legs
And pressed tightly against my guts

To shorten what it is I am
And chance less of you the view
Of me on the flee

That’s my trick.

Oh, and by the way
If anyone should happen to ask
It is all your fault

There’s nothing wrong with me –
It’s you
That wanted all that mushy
Love stuff

And made me feel it!
Weren’t the motions
Good enough?

What’s wrong with you?

I can’t be loving and tough
Too –
I’m a man
I wont be confused by convenience
Or conscience

Oh well,
I guess all’s not lost
At least
I know I’m not
HIV+

Thanks for the test.

 Adam Devlin

An Examination of Sorts.

Addevlin

Brunswick East, Australia

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