My trolley squeaks.
Entering the supermarket, I chose the wrong trolley again!! This one squeaks, my movements tracked storewide with squeak squeak squeak with intermittent stops, aaaah the peace. Travelling the isles, plundering the shelves for my trolley, life went by in a quite interesting way. A mother and child passed going the other way and a snippet of conversation was overheard”……..no son, you don’t have to eat anything with eyes…..”. You round the corner and your way is blocked by a gaggle of short fat women and their trolleys in deep discussion about the bloke next door and the cat was off its tucker! Nobody made any move to unclutter the isle so you decide that that can of baked beans just wasn’t worth it! And as the trolley gets heavier you notice that not only does it squeak but now has a pronounced pull to the left and is much heavier to steer. That’s when you find out those beaut shiny chrome poles on the corner of the fridges are actually steering aids. Rebounding off them much improves directional aim. Fossicking around in the egg fridge is a fidgety sort of a bloke and he had more than half a dozen egg cartons open and was shuffling eggs from one carton to the other with the vision of a much superior carton of eggs. And just along the aisle was an old lady with a knitted jumper and beanie in canary yellow and I think she even had knitted ear rings. Down in the soap and personals isle there were a couple of people opening and trying the spray deodorants! A child in the next isle decides that mother was wrong about that bar of chocolate and wanted it now,, very loudly, the can of peas I was holding was vibrating in unison with the screams .scurrying away to put distance between the ear crushing child, you way is blocked, by someone distinctly overweight pushing a trolley,(not squeaking) brimming to overflow with things like bottles of coke, potato chips , tako shells and the like, squillions of calories and not an ounce of protein. As you work your way down the condiments isle looking for a packet of crushed black pepper you are suddenly confronted by a bag of buns and a plastic frog amongst the cooking oils, covertly dumped by a shopper too lazy to return them to the correct shelves! And still in the distance and traveling you can still hear that malignant child with a penchant for chocolate being dragged towards the checkout.No smacks, not allowed these days! And check out the olive oil! Three litres for the price of a small car!! Didn’t know the Arabs controlled that oil as well. As you wrestle your trolley down the isles, getting electric shocks from the fixtures with static electricity, you cant help noticing all the must have items hanging by themselves off the end of fixtures, things like fuzzy darts and glow in the dark hair gel and bendy pencils and a ton of other naff stuff you haven’t a clue what it is. Made in China in some tiny village, how did that plastic glow in the dark thing land in my trolley. That’s right, my trolley hit the stack! Well, my trolley just wont steer anymore, so its time to check out. Such a busy store and when you get to the tills there are only two frazzled checkout girls working like Trojans to clear the deck. Somebody picked up an item without a price tag…..Oh NO! that’s worth at least another ten minutes.
In the next checkout there is a woman with her elderly mother with one of those walking frames on wheels, she led her mother through the checkout and parked her up against the wall, facing it. Stay there mum, was the comment while she went back to packing groceries, and there was mum pushing hard against the wall. Had she not have parked like that she would have taken off in an uncontrolled stagger in any given direction. Suddenly its my turn to get processed, the checkout girl firstly drinking from her water bottle, that seems to be the norm amongst young people these days. Then the final insult, that,ll be seventeen squillion dollars please, do want the stamps? You fumble with your eftpos card hoping to hell that you have enough money in the bank to cover it. Luckily, just a dollar left, with all your food now in cloth supermarket bags its off to the carpark, but listen…. Whats that dragging noise, oh yes, the handles are far too long on these bags and you have to hold them midway up your chest to avoid dragging.
But at least I don’t have that trolley !!!!
Just a bit of an observation while shopping, The things you see!