It’s cold here. Dark too.
I am standing by the coast, on the edge of a pier and below the waves are pounding against the crumbling pillars. Their devastating power will crush my brittle body, rendering my bones asunder, and I know my corpse will never be found. But there is something comforting about that, like all my sadness and pain will drown along with me.
All I have to do is take one more step forward and it will be over.
Just one step…
Glancing up at the stars I feel comforted by the enchanting tapestry, a beautiful contrast of sparkling silvers attached to a black sky. It is darkness tantalized with mystery, and shares the emptiness I feel in my heart.
Only one…
As time seems to linger cruelly I stand here in the darkness with salty sprinkles of seawater splashing onto my cheeks, utterly deprived of physical and mental strength. My face stings from the bitter coldness and my hands are stiff and aching as the iciness stabs at my fingertips like needles. My shivering body feels like a decrepit husk, weak and drained…
But soon it wont matter…
Soon, I wont hurt anymore…
My life is a curse; a senseless errand decorated by fabricated hopes and dreams… But now I am ready…
I’m ready to step forward. I’m ready to jump into the obscurity and succumb to the darkness that waits…
Ready to Die
This is a short description of a person seconds before they take their own life. It is about an individual who no longer feels able to cope and finds a sense of comfort in knowing it is, or will be, all over.
Ganz, 5 months ago
Wonderfully put.
Adam Stone in reply to Ganz’s comment, 5 months ago
Thank you buddy.
This is a slightly modified version of the longer piece i had on the site, but i removed it because it was too long. This flows much nicer.
Thank you again for your kind comment.
Natalie Foss, 5 months ago
That last bit of hope and peace of knowing there’ll be no more suffering. I wonder how many of us have stepped up to the edge and felt that deep peace, only to turn back. I can’t help but feel a sense of both sorrow and awe for those who have taken that final step.
Nicely written, thanks for sharing!
Niall Rooney, 5 months ago
was really beautiful yto read
fantastic well done
x x x
purpleye, 5 months ago
beautiful and sad,its funny how the ocean has that mysterious pull on a lot of us and you can feel an unconditional acceptance from nature that is sometimes hard to come across from your own kind,that said,the romantic notion of jumping off a peir and the devastating consequences of the reality of doing that are still at odds with eachother..
DragsterMom077, 4 months ago
amazing!!! as i read your words i found myself getting lost in them….. FANTASTIC!!!!!
KEITH R. WILL..., 4 months ago
nicely written
Summayyah Sadi..., 4 months ago
Sadly sometimes the inevitable seems inevitably the only option left…but it never is ..is it? This is so sad but the reality some have faced and live not to tell the tale…like Natalie Fos said how many have turned back to face the impossible options left… Well written…
Gary Crandall, 4 months ago
Chilling and yet gentle words strung together with just the right nuance to put us on the end of that pier with your narrator… one step from oblivion… who hasn’t been there and weighed the burden of life against the peaceful sleep of death… brings to mind a Jack Kerouac line as he stood on the cliff’s edge in Big Sur – “What is death anyway in all that water and rock…”
Paul Compton, 4 months ago
Poignant. Beautiful in an unconventional way. I really like that. Well written also.
wynity2, 4 months ago
A disturbing piece of prose. You have plumbed the depths of inward looking despair. But suicide is not always about how life affects the sufferer.It can also be about how the sufferer perceives he/she has hurt, failed, disappointed his/her loved ones. A very complex issue, and one that I congratulate you on having the courage to explore! :-)
butchart, 4 months ago
you have managed to reach that scarey place in us all…. and make it a reality… the thought process is spot on for whomever is at the end of the pier….i’m so glad it isn’t you…......... wonderful work adz…....................b
Adam Stone in reply to butchart’s comment, 4 months ago
Thank you Mr. B.
I think why these words ring so true is because they were spoken from the heart… This piece is glimpsing into what i like to call my past life… So, in many senses, this was me… But not as I am now i’m very pleased and chuffed to say. But those memories linger like a needle in my mind… But reflecting on those thoughts and feelings has helped me to produce some interesting works lately, so it’s all good :-)
lstrange, 3 months ago
Way deep. Great rhythm and visualizations. We all stand close to that edge one way or another, whether we admit it or not… Great stuff! Keep it coming!
plyle, 3 months ago
I like your submission Adam. Thank you for sharing! I do feel as though many of us have gone to the edge and of course contemplated that “one step”, alas hoping we all make the right decision is another story altogether.
Keep it up
Pat
Nancy Vice, 3 months ago
returning to the water…...as the womb of our mothers. I think thats where the comfort of the sea plays its part…..a wonderful writing here, very emotive and well done :)
Joanne Marie Shaw, 3 months ago
I feel so sorry for that lonely little boy, but he seems to have turned into a very special young man.
linifer, 2 months ago
brilliant piece of writing which can only be fully understood when you have been on that same edge and suffered that same despair. well done adam, its good to reflect on our pasts and emotions sometimes, it can lead us on to greater and brighter things with the knowledge we turned back :)