Twilight drips
Like dew upon empty hands
I cannot give you
What I had planned

And twilight drips
Upon veiled eyes
So filled with tears
That they could fill up a thousand oceans

I’m waiting
For eternity to swallow me whole
So I can finally rest
On its forever chest
I’ve done my best
With this life you’ve given me
And I feel that my best has not nearly been good enough – life’s rough

But I’m wondering: Can I have another chance?
Can you reshape me?
And send me back
With clearer instructions this time?

No asking tricky questions
No philosophical musings, late-night choosing
Between one path or the other
Grieving over a lost mother
And a broken family
That was never meant to be
Without her

Can you please just make it better?
This life’s spent
I’m 26 but I’m bent
With the heavy load I’m holding
So here I am, God, folding
Take my hand, you win
It’s too much for me
Seems like a cruel trick
I’m in a living nightmare
And I want out, quick

So break me up and smash me
I don’t care how hard
Put me in fire and burn me
Until I’m completely charred

Scatter the ashes lovingly
Onto your fertile soil
Tend to my scattered soul there
Please nurture, work and toil
To purify me ‘til I’m authentic
As I am meant to grow

That I would have the confidence
To absolutely know
Who I am from birth this time
Please give me this new chance
And out I’ll sprout
Refreshed again
And ready for life’s dance