The discovery about his father was less than astounding, but..exciting in a way. It created a space within him. A space, in which he could see. Certain behaviorial patterns that had confused him he now had an understanding of.
The anti-social attitudes, the militaristic over-bearing, the rigid authoritarianism. Yes Edward had problems galore.
What weird circumstances had been the bedrock of his life. He had always passed himself off as an orphan. The discovery that all of his relatives appeared to have been women..now did that explain anything?
I remember well the few journeys we had made to visit them. The trains, dirty and smelly, the smoke making me cough. But the fun of the rattle, rattle,rattle of the wheels on the tracks. the images the other side of the window glass, flashing by so rapidly, hardly time to take in an impression of them to remember.
And then the house with the ladies. It was very tall and there were twenty one steps up to the front door. The cracked and peeling paint and the large brass knocker, there was also a shoe cleaning dog upon which we scraped the soles of our shoes.
The hallway was very dark and forboding, the wall panels reeked of varnish and there was a thick black line at the bottom where years of mopping the floor had left it’s mark.
The guest room was to the right as we entered and we were always ushered in as quickly as possible. I remember feeling that if by chance I spent another moment in the hallway it would swallow me up. I never ever was allowed to go upstairs.
There were lace cloths and doilies everywhere, a faint mixture of musk, lilac and lavender pervaded everything. Tea and cake was served on a trolley that was brought in by the youngest of the old women..
Thin, fragile chinaware with roses painted on it, I was always surprised that it didn’t break in my hands, the cake was somewhat hard, yet spongelike.
Edward hated it and he hated them and he hated the house and he hated the journey and he hated.
There never was any love in Edward.
His heart had been removed when he was a baby and replaced with a mechanical pump.
work in progress/or the recycle