In observation and in realism, the collected facts add up to this sum; Desire is equal to Impatience. Or, perhaps better put, they cannot be mutually exclusive (or one exist without the other). Is it just my nature, or do I share it with my fellow man to urgently want? Immediate gratification becomes an error of redundancy, for gratification in its wholeness, its perfection, would be immediate. No soul I have encountered desires something on delay (even delay itself; “I desire for this delay to begin immediately ”). The separation, the “Time” in between is nothing more than an accumulation of opportunities for reflection on whether what is desired has yet been gained. Were we granted the ability to realize this at a higher frequency than our mortal minds allow, “immediate” would vacate vocabulary; for, efficacy equates our standard of time (doesn’t it?). Conversely, the stifling of this realization would make every action a revelation, every moment one of discovery and rebirth and newness and suffocating immediacy.
It is the ephemeral nature of our perception of Time that allows desire to be attractive, even when the outcome is impeded. (Note: “Attractive” does not mean- Bearable, Manageable, Intended, or Concious)
So, if my life is nothing more than moments I feebly grasp at the fact that I am living, a hilarious (hideous?) hodge- podge of breaths I find myself in “now”, HOW ON EARTH does time manage to weigh so heavily on my hands? I do not, I cannot comprehend the depths of my own improvidence. The depraved squandering of so precious a commodity pervades my thoughts in an almost criminal manner. I am wasteful.
“I wonder why, I wonder why. I wonder why I wonder. I wonder why I wonder why.”