dystrophy
all my winter memories are amber colored, and taste like day- late birthday wishes.
something about the film they leave on my teeth makes me want to drive into the Sound, wash myself in sea salt until i am new and pink and can’t sense the fish slowly circling above my head like sub- aqueous vultures, with scaly wings outstretched. dreaming carvnivorous cotton candy dreams, as i’m sure…
what a lot you all have taught me.
the hiatus i’ve been taking is senseless, unproductive.
so, i’m done being done.
and i want back in.
the days no one came.
this city was built to drive me insane.
i just love the statistics of it all-
you know exactly who i am,
everything about me,
just like the other
seventeen point six nine eight four percent,
all of us quivering under our identities.
i’m sure i must hate myself very much, because i inexplicably love everyone.
that must be it.
i was a sure footed creature,
really,
jumping
precariously confidently defi…
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when i was young, i wore dresses.
my kindergarten teacher had very white teeth
and very sad eyes.
she talked excitedly, mostly.
i spent all my time in the clinic though.
i never got sick.
i looked at the ceiling, marred with water stains.
shapes, shapes.
just like watching clouds.
or getting lost.
then they started leaving. one by one by one.
first, there were long days.
and i got glasses
and insecurities.
but…
please believe me when i say
i am so sorry.