I dont know if i can write today
Tears just stream from my eyes
Anger and devastation surrounds my heart
I realise its all just lies.
I know we all have our baggage
And everyone has times when they are low
But its obvious some are just dealt bad fuckin cards
Sorry…but I told you so!
Dont think of me as pathetic and weak
As I am trying so bloody hard
Im using all the energy I have left inside
I dont have time for that pleasant facade
Im using everything just to remember
Why the fuck I walked away from the sea
Why I let them take me to a nut house
The day I finally could have been free.
You see I did so well to fight it
I took responsibility, I had hope
I began to see life had some colour
Although I didnt actually learn how to cope.
If I had known what was gunna happen
A few more months down the line
I wouldnt have bothered to be a fighter
Or give myself more time
I dont wanna see these fuckin things that I see
And I dont think what I did was worth this thing
I should of just let him do whatever he does
While I just found a sand box to stick my head in!!
Or maybe a oven
Im not really sure
I just wanna go back to being innocent and pure
Not pushed, pulled and used
Fucked up and abused
Cant go to sleep
Dont wanna fucking eat
I dont need your money for heat
I`ll live on the streets!
Dont look at me down your snotty nose
Just cos you have a job
And can afford to buy nice clothes
Thinking im a bum im scroungin from your taxes
The state is paying for me to be housed and fed
But you have no idea where have been
Or the shit thats in my fuckin head
But your no better you fuckin hippocrit
so cynical and twister and bitter
Cos you have to work everyday of your life in a job that you hate
Because you say your no fuckin quitter.
Well im sorry if my illness
Makes me jump up and down
If i get bored and unsatisfied
Or my thoughts spin round and round
Or that i try to get a job, but oh wait employment gaps
Youve been on the sick
What do they do with the application
FUCKIN SHRED IT!!
So its pretty hard to become an equal member of society
When your never given a chance to prove what you can do
When you know you have so much understanding and depth
And that I can do it fuckin better than you!!
This whole thing with frequencies
And my vibrations are all wrong
Im not on the right planet
This frequency is not where I belong.
So maybe he had a reason
When he showed me how to make that noose
Maybe he knew how bad I was
And that that knowledge would come into use
I dont think im sad or pathetic
Or lacking in worth
I just dont fucking believe
I belong on this earth!!!
aspectsoftmk
i feel what you write…totally…and i also believe you belong on this earth…you are teaching….i learn..xxx
Jaybe
Emma….never, ever let people make you feel like this again. You’re a strong woman with an amazing personality, a lot of talent and brains too…..
Please…..don’t let things fuck you up again…...you’re worth so much more.
You can change things….you have the experience of life to make a difference and I believe you will, in the way that you want to…..
Have faith for a little longer…..the sun will shine again…..it came back before…...xx