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4 Thoughts

Crosses In The Rubbish Bins

I drink a lot
I drink so much
I’m so damn mad
When I’m so damn happy
I’ve once been told,
“You can’t control yourself.”
I know I can’t
I want to immerse myself in false courage
I want to swim in Acid Reflux
I can’t remember
Ever being happy
When I’m under
When the doctors put me under
Dr. Daniels and Nurse Chardonnay
It tastes divine
So bitter, so chastising, so vengeful and full of spite
Just the way
The girls in the rubbish bin
With the crosses all over their bodies like it
I drink a lot.


Oh God, Mum
I’m sorry
That all happened when I was drunk
Around the dashie
I’m so sorry, Mum
About the party
I hate everyone here, Mum
So please forgive me
I punish myself, Mum
You needn’t punish me
Mum, I’m sorry
That I’ve torn you apart so many times
Mum, don’t ever cry for me again
Just wish I was dead, Mum
Just wish I was dead
Wish I never happened and know that I’m a mistake, Mum
You know that I am
I’m the spoiled seed, the product of a nonchalant, drunken father
Just disregard me. Don’t worry about me.
Pretend I am a game piece
And break me apart
Break me apart, Mum
Throw me out because I am no good.
I am bad luck.
You will always lose with me, Mum.
You will always lose.

Our House In November

You cannot rely on me, oh 90’s
I do not carry your decade
The way you want me to
I do not carry your marks, your love
I have spoiled your image
I have spoiled you as you have spoiled your time
You were the last stitch of innocence in a cold and bitter universe
And I have torn the stitches from your waves of Novembers past

Wake And Bake In The Sun While Under The Influence Of Drugs

I hate you
You always set fire to my friends
And the ants in my ant farm
You always eat away
At the metal which makes up
The bars of my bunk bed
Like a termite
You always sit under my carpet
When I spill your colors
And mock my roommate’s mother
I hate you
You are always down on me
And the farm I decided to raise
You never supported my ideals
You never supported my career
Shut the doors behind you
You always let the cold air in and suck out the heat
Wrap yourself in a towel
You are naked

4 Thoughts

Jascie Epinn

Joined January 2009

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