Shouting At Ham

Recent Work

• Writing

  Club Face…Statuses of flowing idiosyncrasies, paradigms of / dissolving self pity.

• Writing

  Lonely level 53 Wizard seeking female…Hello, I’ve been single for erm lets see… err four… five… carry the one…erm… since birth, and I feel it’s probably time I found a nice girl…

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  The Ambient Chronicles: Danielle (4)…“It’s a baby octopus, Miss Zobsleg.” A queer looking creature confirmed. “All you need to do now is find the man th…

• Writing

  Medicate the Masses…You may feel weightless, / You may feel empty, / Perhaps hopeless / And perhaps faithless / But don’t stress / These are minor side e…

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  The Alpha Guide to Pulling…“What’s a trendy girl like you wearing the same clothes you did when you left my house tomorrow morning?”

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  The Three Little Pigs…“Yoohoo, Mr Pig,” I called from outside the front door.

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  Itchy Dick Syndrome…Itchy dick starts slowly at first, and most women, while extremely familiar with the condition, have no idea what to call it or even what c…

• Writing

  Smart Tomatoes…A family of four could have sliced it in half lengthways, hollowed it out and put to sea in it.

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  Eggs and Jam…I’m just trying to appraise your sergeant of his error concerning the supposed contents of my moustache

• Writing

  Nascent Illusion PUBLISHED…:)