I TOOK AN IMAGE FROM MY CAT SCAN DISC THAT I OBTAINED FROM THE VACAVALLEY HOSPITALS RADIOLIGY DEPARTMENT, IN VACAVILLE CALIFORNIA, TODAY AND TOOK IT TO ADOBE PHOTOSHOP ELEMENTS 3.0 AND STARTED PLAYING WITH FILTERS TO TRY AND ENHANCE THE ORDINARY BLACK AND WHITE CAT SCAN IMAGE. THIS WAY, I HAVE MORE “COLORFUL INNERDS” AND THEY ARE BETTER TO LOOK AT. THE LUNGS ARE BRIGHTEST OF THE IMAGE AND YOU CAN SEE SOME RIBS THAT RAP AROUND THE LUNGS THAT ARE IN RED. THE BLUES ARE PARTS OF BONE STRUCTURE AND SOME OF THE MAKINGS UP OF THE GUTS. THE COLON IS THE PINK ITEM CROSSING IN FRONT OF THE SPINE OTHER GUTS. I THINK BEING ABLE TO LOOK INSIDE THE HUMAN BODY IS A REMARKABLE THING. TO THINK, JUST OVER ABOUT 70 YEARS AGO, WE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THE INSIDE OF A BODY LOOKED LIKE UNLESS IT WAS CUT OPEN AND EXPLORED. NATURALLY, THAT WAS CALLED AN AUTOPSY, NOW WITH MODERN MACHINES THE INSIDES CAN BE SEEN WITH OUT HAVING TO HAVE A CADAVOR OR SOME POOR SOUL HAVING TO GO THROUGH OPEN CAVITY SEARCH AND THEN GETTING STITCHED BACK TOGETHER ONLY TO HAVE TO HAVE THE SURFACE WOUND GET CUT OPEN AGAIN SO THE WOUND CAN BE CLEANED WITH SALENE GAUZE TWICE A DAY UNTIL IT HEALS BACK TO THE SKIN, AT WHICH POINT YOU END UP WITH A SCAR THAT IS TWO TO THREE TIMES MORE VISIBLE THAN IF IT WAS JUST A NORMAL SCAR FROM A PROPPER SURGERY. YOU CAN JUST MAKE OUT WHERE MY FEMUR BONES CONNECT TO THE HIP OR PELVIC BONE STRUCTURE.
This is my innerself and how the war of the Falklands Affected me and the people involved through no fault of their own Famine ,Death,Sorry if this affends anyone but the fact of the matter is its still going on today WAR. Who will be next to get the dreaded letter your son,daughter,or relation has been killed in action .The adverage age of a Royal Marine that was Killed in the Falklands was 19 years to 22 years old and even now ,you only have to read the paper Is It really Worth it ??
Digital Xray of my neck. / I was in a motor vehicle accident in 1975, I was told my neck would get better. It gave me no real problems and I continued to play football, soccer, squash, and swim. / In 1988, I was diagnosed as a Paranoid Schizophrenic by a General Practicioner at a public Psychiatric Hospital. He was still training to be a specialist. I had seen a qualified specialist psychiatrist 4 years earlier, who still sees no need to diagnose a psychiatric condition. / After the police took me for a drive in the back of a police van in11th October of 1998, I needed to see a specialist about my neck. He opperated in March of 2007, after I had put it off a few times. / Now no longer Paranoid schizophrenic. / Never compensated by anyone. The State Government is the insurer, in either instance, but they see no reason to pay.
Oil painting. I must add something to this weird picture. I have bipolar disorder and today I went to the doctors and once again they want to try me on lithium…..which by the way I won’t take ever! But this painting is my attempt to describe what it feels like to be inside the box. There is no real answer for bipolar, its just makes you seem stranger the rest of the world. Sometimes I feel like I am a stranger within myself. Like I don’t know who I am anymore, when I act out of character. I want to retreat inside the box, try to reflect on my actions. But it doesn’t help. I feel like a stranger trapped inside a box. This is where this came from. Somewhere inside of me. Not the best attempts at a painting and not received too well at school but still when I look at it I sense the restraints of having this invisible disorder that no-one can truly understand, not even the person who has it.
Self Portrait of how I feel today.
At certain times I get Flashbacks and depression sets in from the time I was in the Marines and Falklands Its hard to explain but what I do to pull myself out is to paint but I never know what until I finish then I think how the hell did I do this ,is my innerself crying out but the strange thing is at the time of painting I dont feel its me who has control of the brush yet a picture appears yes I know I can draw as I am a illustrator but thats is a complete different artform what I do in my depression is not and the style is so different so what is it I asked my doc about it and he said its my realease what ever that means has anyone else felt this way ???
I don’t know how many public toilets I’ve seen the insides of. At one stage I decided to start photo documenting each one. That project didn’t go very far but it’s still on my mind. Tribute to Chronic Bowel Disease / Crohn’s Disease – 20 years +
Had another day spent playing with close up filter lenses. Warfarin is used as an anti-coagulant. I have been on it since the age of 14. Unfortunately somehow most of my pictures came back with a thin white line down them, which seems to be a scratch on the negative. It did me good though, it was about time I learnt how to use GIMPs clone and heal tools. Camera used: Nikon EM
an idea of what a diabetic and epileptic has to face when passing out and/or having seizures….......on concrete. / i wasn’t going keep this up long as i’m not trying to sell it? just get an idea to people who have never understood or will never understand such issues.
Hey everyone, / just wanted to bring your attention to my films, found on myspace, vimeo, and of course, youtube. This is just a small collection of what I’ve produced to date. / Feel free to sign in (if you have an account on either myspace, vimeo or youtube) and leave comments :) Matt
I tried to rationalize my addictions so many times, and you exercised so much patience. / When I was ready, you were there to help me; and since then, I’ve never had another problem. Thank you, Khara…
I found myself inspired in the darkness. / “Again,” I said as she killed more brain cells. She was happy to comply.
I was messing around with the dictation tool on my old computer and it wasn’t even getting half of my words right so it just made this incoherent blob of words, which I then broke down and assembled into this poem. Enjoy.
Lobby RB for change…Please lend your support. There are writers out there lobbying RB for CHANGE...
Please lend your support. There are writers out there lobbying RB for CHANGE Please help and make it happen and support witers on Red Bubble. But more importantly support your fellow artists here
I TOOK AN IMAGE FROM MY CAT SCAN DISC THAT I OBTAINED FROM THE VACAVALLEY HOSPITALS RADIOLIGY DEPARTMENT, IN VACAVILLE CALIFORNIA, TODAY AND TOOK IT TO ADOBE PHOTOSHOP ELEMENTS 3.0 AND STARTED PLAYING WITH FILTERS TO TRY AND ENHANCE THE ORDINARY BLACK AND WHITE CAT SCAN IMAGE. THIS WAY, I HAVE MORE “COLORFUL INNERDS” AND THEY ARE BETTER TO LOOK AT. THE LUNGS ARE BRIGHTEST OF THE IMAGE AND YOU CAN SEE SOME RIBS THAT RAP AROUND THE LUNGS THAT ARE IN RED. THE BLUES ARE PARTS OF BONE STRUCTURE AND SOME OF THE MAKINGS UP OF THE GUTS. THE COLON IS THE PINK ITEM CROSSING IN FRONT OF THE SPINE OTHER GUTS. I THINK BEING ABLE TO LOOK INSIDE THE HUMAN BODY IS A REMARKABLE THING. TO THINK, JUST OVER ABOUT 70 YEARS AGO, WE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THE INSIDE OF A BODY LOOKED LIKE UNLESS IT WAS CUT OPEN AND EXPLORED. NATURALLY, THAT WAS CALLED AN AUTOPSY, NOW WITH MODERN MACHINES THE INSIDES CAN BE SEEN WITH OUT HAVING TO HAVE A CADAVOR OR SOME POOR SOUL HAVING TO GO THROUGH OPEN CAVITY SEARCH AND THEN GETTING STITCHED BACK TOGETHER ONLY TO HAVE TO HAVE THE SURFACE WOUND GET CUT OPEN AGAIN SO THE WOUND CAN BE CLEANED WITH SALENE GAUZE TWICE A DAY UNTIL IT HEALS BACK TO THE SKIN, AT WHICH POINT YOU END UP WITH A SCAR THAT IS TWO TO THREE TIMES MORE VISIBLE THAN IF IT WAS JUST A NORMAL SCAR FROM A PROPPER SURGERY. YOU CAN JUST MAKE OUT WHERE MY FEMUR BONES CONNECT TO THE HIP OR PELVIC BONE STRUCTURE.
My battle from the ongoing effects of cancer, radiation treatment, radiation damage, chronic pain and depression
My diagnosis of cancer
In my head
I come to you paper with pen / I wonder when it all will end / Let words drip from my finger tips / I can’t say them through my lips / Open soul transcend my thought / Release these things I’ve brought / Realism shouts on the sheet / For it is time that I meet / Forgiveness of their sins I plead / My heart does not bleed / Sorrow soaks bleed through the pages / All is not lost throughout the ages / Heal me to the highest power / Bring me to the brightest flower / Foresee the mist of happiness / I am now not bloodless / Dip out fingers blood ink / I now know I think / Discovery of life’s gift / I promise to uplift / Forever set inside new life / I find you in this wildlife / / I always find peace in the tree. This image is my hands reaching for a limb to pull me through what pained me. Now I can say I am happy and this image is a reminder to me how brave I was to believe in the tree. / Apophysis / / Thank you and good day to you. / Therese
First off, I’m amazed at the response that my new group Everything Ends has got since it started just yesterday. Nearly 40 members already! But of course, you can never have enough members in a group – the more the merrier I say. So if you haven’t already, be sure to check it out, and if you feel you have appropriate work, join! Now on a slightly less merry note, I just wanted to say how much I am growing to dislike HDR. Yes! It looks good, but I just find it to be very decietful (without use of a better word). I’m often admiring works on Redbubble only to then either realise for myself, or read the accompanying decscription to find that it is a HDR image. Sometimes you can tell in an instant if an image is of HDR nature, but sometimes it’s not so obvious. What annoys me even more is when people fail to mention that an image of theirs is HDR, so then people think that they are amazing photographers. No! They just know how to use a digital SLR and Photoshop better than the rest of us. The point of this whole thing is, whatever happened to good old fashioned photography? It’s gotten to the point where you can’t trust any image to be real, and the result of plain old good photography. / It saddens me! Anyone else feel the same? Matt
Nothing is worse than being unable to walk… My greatest fear was being wheel chair bound. I was always careful but… you can never be too careful because it happened to me anyways! One has to wonder if this wheelchair was left behind because of it was only from a temporary incident or it was too painful to take with the family after a the child died? We will never know…
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