Art & Dis(ease)

Through hurtful words spat in pain
Through nights of passion and promises
Through warm sun and blinding rain
I have loved you
But now….

I sit here
Sipping bitter sweet memories
Choking…

The drenching unrelenting rains rotting the foundation
land like needles on my face as i turn to the sky
and i wonder at my thin expression…

Peel the skin from the orange light
She whispers husky wine stains
In the shape of psychologists cards, whisper the lips
To the ear, whispers in the dark, when night
Opens up the silences…

She wandered into my safe place and was
Engulfed by flames that sear souls
No one meant for it to happen
Never expected to find her here, but
I carelessly left breadcrumbs to follow

A…

heart of stone.

Through closed eyes I tried to
Rid myself of this wickedness that haunts me
The dragging to hell over and over again

But...

Nothing is seen through closed eyes!
Upon opening the…

I weep quietly for the past
it is done and dusted
It no longer holds me
in its suffocating arms

In the quiet times when tears fall easily
As the hand that they each let go so easily
Only it was not so easy after one finger had memorized
The imprint, the unique mirror of the other fingerprint,

How dare I
I who have nothing
Even to consider thinking
that I…me…who has nothing
a pauper compared to their royalty
I who doesn’t dress in the newest designer fashion
whose hair is …

She runs in place in the house of circus mirrors
Twisting and turning while the grotesque faces stare back
They point, they laugh and they scream with
Mouths open to gaping O’s, voices strip…

For we have all the intelligence we need
All the intelligence in the world
And yet
Do not choose to save ourselves._

I’ve gone far away so far from myself
and live on old bones and the most cunning of stealth . . .

Box overflows with nothing as
Demons scream with voices shrill and
Cut the night like diamonds to glass
Until the blood flows from eyes that
See through dancing blades

Dark is my friend …

Silence

Insomnia clings like a wet corpse on a cold mortuary slab,
Her crimes will not allow her to sleep, and still she plots…

My heart lies on the ground, still beating
My open wound exposed for the whole world to see
My chest has been ripped open by your insensitivity
It lies bleeding on the rain soaked side walk

I am swimming in my own misery
An ocean of deep sorrow and regret
I am trapped in my own little world

“Help me, please!” my brain implores from deep within my skull.
From behind the hardened walls escapes its only desire.
No place is found, not eyes nor ears,
Nor temples soft through which…