You Make Me Hurl - on darks by Andi Bird Drunk Ceiling by Al Bourassa

THIS is what I do.


High Street Haiku – The Phonebox.

We all got mobiles. / They are dead important though. / Good for pissing in.

The Shitterbox Part 2 – (T.V Guide)


High Street Haiku – The Train Station

Train Station Depression.
Feeling A Little Green Around The Gills by Al Bourassa

Those Tabloid Headline In Full… Tues 16th N…


High Street Haiku – Antique Shop

Dusty old bollocks

The Day Nothing Worked.

The day nothing worked started rather late for me. I couldn’t be sure of the exact time I awoke as my alarm clock had stopped at exactly m…

High Street Haiku – The Cyclist.

Saving the planet / You look like a right dickhead / ’Spose someone has to

High Street Haiku – The Postman

yeah. postmen.

High Street Haiku – Clock-tower

Scowling down from high / A municipal time-piece / You’re ten minutes slow
Peace Statue by mattupchuck

High Street Haiku – Roadkill

Painting the town red? / What a shame that you are not / Re-cy-cle-a-ble

High Street Haiku – Bagpiping Busker


High Street Haiku – Subway

Big Sign Says “Subway” / Not the useful one you ride / Odd smelling baguettes.
Finding the Way Back by mattupchuck Brighton Pier by mattupchuck

High Street Haiku – The Bin.


High Street Haiku – Kebabs Open Late

Miscellaneous meat / Grimy floor tiles, stained ceiling / Smells like cheap dog food

Your Definitive Guide To Pets


High Street Haiku – Sainsbury’s Local

The Sainsbury’s Local / Is not what it says it is / It is miles away

I Am The Official New Face the Milk Marketing Boa…


High Street Haiku – Parking


High Street Haiku – Shopping Centre

Huge shopping centre / Lots of ghastly shops I can / Ignore all at once

High Street Haiku – H&M

Very loud music / Wearing mass produced fashion / People look the same

High Street Haiku – Blockbuster Videos

Closed up shop now yeah? / All the shitty films have gone / Your block’s been busted

Leading Homosexual Outed As Conservative.

Dennis Hogg MP (major poofter) was secretly filmed by a Sunday tabloid newspaper meeting a seedy man in what was described as a “Cons…

High Street Haiku – Argos

Loads of catalogues / Pages of shit tents and that / “Not in stock, sorry.”

High Street Haiku – Lloyd’s TSB

You’ve got a damn nerve / Selling more shit mortgages / Like nothing happened
Matt Upchuck by mattupchuck

High Street Haiku – Charity Mugger

Corners me alone / Save The Children need my help. / Yeah? I hate children

High Street Haiku – The Bus Stop.


High Street Haiku – Vomit Pool


An Open Letter To Channel 5

I would like to congratulate you for implementing the return of the remarkably talented Vanessa Feltz to our television screens.

ITV’s “Take Me Out” – Feb…


High Street Haiku – Petrol Station Mini-Mar…

Some squashed sandwiches / Been kicked around the floor by / Resentful employees.

High Street Haiku – Gamestation

You’re looking tatty / Missing a letter there mate / Sign reads “amestation”

“The Shitterbox” Part 1 – (T.V …


High Street Haiku – The 99p Shop

How much is that mate? / Ninety-nine pence is it yeah? / Oi! What about this?

High Street Haiku – Man giving out flyers

“Pound off a Big Mac?” / Thanks but no thanks mate / I would rather eat my shoes
Upchuck by HumanJoseph

High Street Haiku – Police Community Officer

Fighting knife crime yeah? / But without any handcuffs? / Good luck to you mate.
You Make Me Hurl - on lights by Andi Bird Rat Puke by napalmnacho Styracosaurus Vomit by napalmnacho Cat Barf Mouse Heads by pounddesigns

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