Elegy “Tomorrow, when you die, I / won’t be there.” The Monkey’s Top 11: Eleven Facts I Hold t… 1. – If I were you, I’d be reading this right now.* THE HUMAN CONDITION (Being John Malcontent) We danced up from primordial brine / To evolutions tune / Flew from the sands of Kitty Hawk / Through space and to the moon. A LITTLE Q AND A Q. Ya know what really sucks? / A. A good twenty dollar whore. / Q. Beg your pardon? / A. Begging is moot. My pardon is free. / Q. Mind if … What’s Up With Taking Pictures of Yourself?… there’s no comparison you see self gratification / i love me me me Falling I’m peeling them back these days / past the cuticle / to the pink shiny flesh beneath / begging them to become something more / then… Faded Daisies That’s just me: / a hungry / poet / wannabe / with daisies / on my mind / and how to save the world / scribbled on a scrap of napkin… HELPFUL LETTER FROM THE DEPT OF OVERREGULATION IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT / YOU MUST HAVE A VALID LICENSE ON DISPLAY WHERE YOU / WILL BE DOING NOTHING AT ALL WITH… Sarcasm is its own reward. There is no way out of this, this is stuck-dom, stuck-ville, / stuck-o-later time C.R.A.A.P (Citizens Revolution Against Art Produc… You’ve seen it; it’s everywhere. It clogs our airwaves and blocks our scenery. Our children are exposed to it in their schools, we are subj… Snow in the Catskills just where do we go if we are very sick and there is no one to pick us up from the Coroners Office? why not better to just toss it all to hell Surreality TV: a Pop Culture Diss I saw Miss Hilton’s soul walk out of her lithe body / It looked like a cellophane bag filled with pink cotton candy Suitors and Saints A slightly sarcastic sight into the decision of diving into the dating world or remaining in a relationship… sorta. Native American Salvation Did you know that almost all of the native American tribes except for the Mohawk and Iroquois, at the time of the European arrivals, had vi… sarcasm Labour pain – No better than Constipation! Cynical and Sarcastic cynical and sarcastic is how you see me. / logical and thoughtful is how you want me. / but I drown in dreams / and languor in music and /… You made evil your religion and sarcasm your veil 4.28.92 / You made evil your religion, / and sarcasm your veil. / Hatred was the shrine that you prayed to, / And jealousy was your gown. /… WEAPONS OF MASS…? I’m hearing the pundits speak of something that’s quite scary. Pre-emptive nuclear strikes. They say pre-emptive but it sounds … Fairytale Wedding You tell me you love me / that you fucking adore me / that there’s no one else you’d rather see / walking down that isle / in t… Blatant A lot of people are looking for signs to validate their next move. Wear this shirt and you could make someone very happy ;D Save File and Forget It’s not so much that he has issues as that he’s on the third volume of his encyclopedia, and still not within hailing distance… The Coach Cabin Chronicles I attempted to distract myself, humming “Georgia on My Mind,” imaging Georgia on my body, but this only reminded me sex on an a… 2 At Once All I can feel is these frezing filanges set to rosy red cheeks. / …And through your sarcastic sputterings, we actualze the truth. Table 41, Party of 8 Yes ma’am, I know it has been 7 minutes and your food isn’t here. I’m sorry, it might be the extra well-done ribeye steak… An Open Letter To Channel 5 I would like to congratulate you for implementing the return of the remarkably talented Vanessa Feltz to our television screens. I Hate Romantic Novels It started with a bus. It was a Tuesday. This amuses me. Nothing important ever seems to happen on a Tuesday, but it was the day I first sa… A Violent Society, Guns and Bullshit by George A. Yesthal / Before we decide that, the fact that we have access to firearms, or that we don’t give enough care to our mental hea… Sleeping On A Couch Little beast of wood and leathers / filled with staples and not feathers Suppress them All Suppress one thing / So suppress them all / Suffer in silence / Because your problems belong to you / And no one else will ever get through…

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