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Delusional

He knew he was in trouble the day he started seeing fairies in the garden.

Hallways of Hell

It was just the other day that everything changed. I hadn’t been in Hell very long so I wasn’t quite sure how things worked. I would soon l…

Cheeky..Bum — Wow a Bummer! by Sunil Sharma

Are you a Bum or Bummer !! Glad if you are ….. Keep reading, if not come back later when you are.. / A very houmrous melody….to…

drug haiku

Dude sits on the wall / Inhales deeply on his bong / Well aint he a nob

JURY DUTY – HOW TO AVOID THE CALL UP

My younger sister has been called up for potential jury duty. She is most unimpressed about this as she is self employed and her time is pr…

The wonderful world of Facebook

There is a certain special place / In the world of cyberspace / Where people socialise / And unknown bands publicise / Where you can find o…

Aunty Mill & Uncle Jack – Bush Poetry

Humorous Australian bush poetry.

How to refrain from swearing

If you’re reading this, then it’s pretty safe to assume you’re a despicable foul-mouthed… person, there you go look, I wanted to swear then…

Top 10 things to say before a fight

[Video] / 1. You should know I have a gym membership… so… well I mean I filled most of the forms out and everything but I haven…

OK i’m bored … so here is a game for …

Please add your first thought to the word that appears on each line :- the funnier the better i guess !!! / 1. wiggly / 2. well / 3. …

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie … a tribute to Austr…

Then there was the Ranga / From Tangambalanga / They’d yack on the verandah / At Yackandandah.

My 25 things to do before I die

1. Learn how to throw like a man / 2. Find the courage to ride the tea cups at Disneyland / 3. Run a marathon… ok, walk a marathon / 4. Wat…

the taste of red

The red snakes are the most delicious.

The Soap Bubble – Episode 6. The Opposition

Somethings rotten in Red Bubble, the powers of darkness start to plot

Snow White – Or be careful what you wish fo…

Wherever did it all go so wrong? / Did it begin / With a wife’s fondest desire / To become mother to a daughter

Sod’s Law

Thank you sod’s law / For every time my toast falls jam side down on the floor / For every time tickets are sold out for the Hannah Montana…

The Facebook Rant

Hi there, hey, how’s it going? So get this. I have just received my 1’000th invitation to visit a friend’s farm on Farmville; yeah 1,000th,…

LUCKY EDDIE

Lucky Eddie wasn’t baptized with that moniker, he was baptized Eduardo de la Hoya Miguel Hildago Antonio Trujillo Fuentes, by the village p…

A book report by a student who didn’t actua…

“Hey, erm so I decided to do my book report on The Catcher in the rye by J.D Salinger. For anyone who hasn’t read this book alr…

The Procrastination Schedule

7:00 am – Wake up to the sound of the alarm clock, which was primed the night before specifically to get up early and begin working on that…

If you want someone….

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him / and never say its not quite as good as his mothers / …then buy a…

The Evil spirit

The vicar was using a small demonstration :- / Two glasses, a worm, and a bored congregation.

Father Figure

The clues were all there if I’d only just thought,

How to queue in Russia (a practical guide) Part 1

No one in the world knows better how to stand in a queue than the Russians. Alright, some nations might contest this fact. Many folks might…

C.V

Curriculum Vitae / Name: Paul Hickson / Date of birth: 04/09/89 / Sex: not as yet, I’m still looking for the right person / Objective: To t…

TAKING PHOTOS OF YOURSELF…LOL

I NEED TO TAKE PHOTOS…now is a good a time as any… / in fact it is. / THE BEST TIME!!!! RELATE!!!!!!

My Christmas Rant

I don’t know WHY you can’t put decorations on a dirty house

Drama in the House Yard …

The cow-cakes stuck to shoe ‘n boot / ‘n caused no end of stink. / But the missus’d just smile sweetly, / Givin’ the cow a wink.

Woman’s diary v Man’s diary

After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed. / I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deepl…

you are always there

you provided me with milk and nurtured me / you provided me with food to give me strength / you clothed me / you gave me inspiration

I’m bored … version 2 … game in…

PLAY MY GAME >>>>> PLEASE

Outback With The Wire Man (Humour)

Outback With The Wire Man. / By Joe Mortelliti / Over a number of years of 4wd touring I have made a life long friend of the “Wire Man”…my …

Animal tweets

Cinnamon @CinnamonTheDog / Hey! other dogs! Every tree from Mr Li’s pet shop 2 the park is my tree! my tree! I marked them with my sc…

Poetic Musings: An Ode To Tofu

Oh, thy spongy textures and lattic’d innards, / coated in rich black bean sauce. / You satisfy my inmost parts with your high protein…

Soundtrack to my life

Ya know how kids do that whole lemonade stand outside their house to make a little money? Well I also did it… I was 22.

A Close Shave.

“How quaint!” he says, as he walks though the door, / “..you still have sawdust all over the floor!”

Temperature conversion explained

About 35 years ago, Canada went metric and, in order to avoid confusion and help those who still work in Farenheit, the government commissi…

Christmas On Redbubble

How grand it seems, to share your dreams / With those that know just what it means

Birth Day of Belle

For you Belle – sorry I couldn’t make it to your celebrations this year! Enjoy ’em…

Speed Dating

Have you ever tried it?

WHAT’S MISSING ?

my butt’s asleep and my back is sore / cuz i’ve been sitting on the cold cement floor.

Queensland…Gods Own Country I’m Told.…

Queensland…Gods Own Country I’m Told / By Joe Mortelliti / But he forgot about Outback Queensland altogether as far as I’m concerned. / Thi…

The Pain of Touch

the rivers of sweat flying through the air, eyes crushed deep in sockets, nostrils flaring to grasp at air that his mouth could no longer t…

Dolly’s paper round

The Problem Page, is run by Bridget, / who cannot decide on a chocolate biscuit.

Opposing definition

One of my deeply favourite sections is where all the dics are. I can’t help but wander there every time I visit, just to see what new kind …

Not Kissing Frogs

I’ve lost something / What I am not sure / Something important / I think, possibly, perhaps / Or maybe not.

Fatal Attraction

Why, only last week he was out at a bar, / when he noticed this beautiful girl from afar.

The Healer

“Cat. If you could talk eh?

The Science of Saying Sorry

I had a good fight neither of us won. Like all fights it was unintentional. If it was no one’s idea why is it so impossible to make p…

Clancy of the Punjab

In my wild erratic fancy visions come to me of Clancy, / Gone a-pilgriming “down to Goa” where the Western hippies go……

Are you a virgin?

Strange question you may think, however no stranger than when the words are uttered by your 6 year old son… / This story makes me smi…

How to queue in Russia (a practical guide) Part 2

You need to have your passport to buy a train ticket. Actually, you will need your passport to do pretty much anything in Russia. Even for …

Self-Love…

:)

Mozart – A Post Modern Slant

Then set about composing / In his lonely room / A concerto for kazoo / Fork and spoon

Talk to the hand because the face ain’t lis…

It is perhaps the most obnoxious phrase to ever grace the human oral tradition. Many of us have said it at least once in our lives; whether…

Literary Cookbooks

Oh dear! I wish cookbooks on the art of writing a short story or novel were more like the culinary ones sitting on my kitchen fridge!…

Christmas Poem

Just once a year, we send you cheer / and think of you as ice cool beer / goes cursing down our throats.

“Which way to Paris?”

INT. PLANE INTERIOR – ECONOMY CLASS – DAY / It’s a routine flight from New York to Paris. The pilot makes an announcement to the passengers…

Devious

The glass cabinet reflected the room’s contents like a mirror. Facing it, Rita noticed the bright green doors ajar behind her. Rita went to…

not take men shopping

This is a true story by my Uncle Dan Foster / This is why women should not take men shopping / against their will. / After I retired, my wi…

SARF EFFRIKIN PYOWA SHOTIGES AN LODE SHEDIN…

His miserable existence came to a head when he inflicted a ‘nipple crippler’ on the owner of his favorite patch.

14 Iphone Apps that should exist

1. The Sylvester Stallone translator app – This is a really handy app, as it gives you the ability to decipher exactly what Sylvester Stall…

’Twas the Night Before Bubbling

’Twas the night before Bubbling and all through the site / There were people uploading in big mega-bites.

Being Different, by Ellen Hecht © 2012 All …

Martha’s friends had come up with the idea. They were always coming up with this kind of weird stuff.

Airconditioning….

I don’t need airconditioning…

Raising Gemma

‘The chances of me agreeing to that are Buckley’s and none,’ Hayley snorted. / ‘Why not?’ Gemma pouted, ‘You’re just being stuffy!’ / Hayle…

Teleportation devices

Now you know, do shit and go places.

Bread and CHEESE, or a Snippet from Dostoevsky.

7. Chekhov Screws Marilyn Munroe.

The Vednesday Chapters

The nice Yellow Hat With The Orange Smiley Face sat erect on the head of the E-hospital’s head procrastinator …

Myrick’s Victory

Myrick was on the final leg of the race. His space ship had curved around Yiol the local moon, and waded itself free of the asteroid field …

New Kid in Town

Tense silence shrouded the dusty road as the gunslingers faced each other. The newcomer, known only as “The Kid”, kept his focus on Earl. …

JUST HER CUP OF TEA

Tess had a look of shock on her face, / “Well Sindy, I think you’re a perfect disgrace!”

The Mumbles

Living in a lighthouse in Wales is a group of creatures called “The Mumbles”. They are small and furry with fast and clever minds and very …

Camp Fire Tale (Humour)

Campfire Tale / By Joe Mortelliti / One night on a Simpson Desert Crossing Marion(my wife) and I along with some members of our 4wd adventu…

Toilet Humour

I’m an avocado toilet… / Read on to find out what happens!

Gift

… but within / there is a second skin, hot, sensual / shades suitable for gift wrap material,

Clean Sweep

“My chest measures fifty-four inches at least. / Compared to Godzilla, it’s me who’s the beast…

Paper chase

It’s a competitive market / when choosing toilet ware

Secret stash.

I’ve got a secret stash / it’s hidden far from view, / but I like to count it out / when I’m sitting on the loo! / I tend…

Drovers Diary……….Cedric loves T…

He lost the last ute chaser, stolen by crocodiles

Our Love Is Rare…

:)

Identifying Features

The evening had gone well. Wesley usually didn’t approve of his brothers taste in women, but Ivy seemed different. / Ivy was confident, fun…

Who’s Your Caddy? …

:)

~ Strolling by Wolsingham Stream ~

As I went walking by Wolsingham stream / a fine young gent I was too / I spied a damsel in some distress / But I had no idea what to do

I were so very patient

I were so very patient as / i slowely ran my toes along / your bottom / then your hip, / slowely tickling / you along your thigh / across y…

An old Fantasy I once had…

(Mature)

haiku 132

on the road / to enlightenment… / a flat tire

Art inspiring art

She sighed a sound that made the air tingle between them and slowly stepped into the light of the window.

Wind of Violence (to the tune of Sound of Silence)

…a dreadful song about a man and his curry…

Sunday Morning

“Easy as Sunday morning.” / The words of the song rang through his head. / He had to lift a hand to his mouth to suppress a derogative sno…

The Appointment

‘Hello. My name is Isabella. How can I help you today?’ / You can serve me best by returning to your fancy smancy college to learn a bit of…

You Can’t Take it With You!!! by Simon R G…

The rich dread dying / Because they’ve got so much to lose; / Their mansions and their palaces, / Their glossy Gucci shoes.

The Rant 3

Hey… er… I just wanted to take this opportunity to erm… to just apologise to the virtual crowd that attended the Wii ping…

Eviction notice

A little wry humour…

The God Market

‘Can I help you guys?’ / ‘Yes, we’re getting married in a few weeks, so…’ / ‘So you need to get a religion sorted out?’ / ‘That’s right, do…

Message in a bottle

June 19th 1985 / To whom it may concern, I am shipwrecked on a remote island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. / It is 30 days, as I write th…
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