our.. 50Things we Love .

Too Much Fabric Softener

We were just standing at the front of the restaurant waiting to be seated when I heard my mother’s quiet gasp. Puzzled, I turned to …

The Silent Killer

…there will be no smoking gun to find….

’Twas the Night Before Bubbling

’Twas the night before Bubbling and all through the site / There were people uploading in big mega-bites.

Intelligent Life On Earth

All of a sudden a space alien come from around the bushes and walks up to him and the dog.

THE ELEVATOR

they waited by the elevator / glances were shared / she looked at him carefully / as she touched her hair / her hair was jet black / with c…

A Day In MY Eye

…and she smiles for her reward…

Cat Warning!

cut short by a tabby cat’s claw!

No Pets Allowed

One day one foreigner turned to another and say," Hey man, you can’t live here any more."

It Smells Like A Lie

Did you have a over protective mother when you were a kid ? Every time you wanted to stay at a friend’s house for a weekend ,it was l…

Fireworks At The Beach

As the Child was mesmerized by the sounds of the explosions echoing through the silent air,and the bursts of bright colors ,bleaching out…

Feathers Aflutter

Above and below / Please say it isn’t so / My feathers are such a mess / I really must confess / A girl for me might see / How messy …

Some people think that I’m quite sad

Some people think that I’m quite sad, / Some people think I’m whappy, / But I’ve got Rotties, five in all, / Each one mak…

Epic Proportions

“Oh, but all the hells! / Tell the priest to ring the bells!” / The people heard the mayor yell, / As her shadow passed his doo…

Connect The Dots

And when the connection’s complete …..

rats II (the humorous version)

(Mature)

Poetically Incorrect

I’m supposed to be brilliant;

Not a Good Idea

After about fifteen minutes of frustrated groping on my part, it was apparent by the way she kept slapping my hands that more than one drea…

The Jacket

While Harry was in the back garden singing as he went, Florence was in the bedroom turning out the wardrobe.

The Grobblies: a humorous poem about the neighbou…

(Mature)

The Grimbles: a Humorous Poem.

The Grimbles live in darksome holes / Far away from moles and voles / And all small things that crawl and creep / For the Grimbles never, e…

going cold turkey

Give me the strength to walk away / to say so long / farewell, / if only for a day…

“Guess where I am calling you from ?”

I was inspired to write this short humorous story by a friend of mine who like to hang on the phone for long periods of time,and does every…

Cyclists, whats the point?

Does Lycra really make you go any faster? And is it really worth sacrificing your self respect?

Wolfing it down: Chapters 1-3

Rumple would do anything to make sure that the arrogant Prince never found out the truth. Everyone knew he wanted a sorceress to empower hi…

Ode to a Terminal Defeatist

I was sorry to hear that you’re “dying”, / I thought you would go on for years. / Yet halo and wings you are buying, / And angels are soon…

Old man rant

The old guy next to me downed the last of his 7 ounce beer. “Don’t talk to me about freedom” he said. “When we were young fellas, they sen…

The Spirit of You

The psychology I teach is only you, your belief, your truth; you are the expert of you. / The only healer is the sum total of you.

Wolfing it down: Chapter 6

“There is no shame in my name. There is no shame it’s just a which chase game.” Crimson dates fell down and he gathered them into his pocke…

Oooh Scary!

With a creepy crawling ooze, / Who do you suppose? / Is hanging out by the garden hose, / Making that awful noise. / Drooling gobs of wet, …

Ode to a Snorer (a humorous and sad love poem)

Snoring, can’t you stop, roll over please! / I am not snoring, leave me alone!

A Snail in Molasses

Why must you move so slowly? / Why do you drag your feet? / You said “I’m going out now,” / Then stayed right in your seat. / I find this q…

My Personal Fictional History

And if that makes no sense to you, I must admit that at first it made none to me, but there you have it.

An Old man’s Sense of Humor

My mother and grandmother sat on the bed holding one another, their bodies seemed to shake in utter sadness…

Moving on up, only to remain down

The decision for fame was not an easy one, or so she said. After weeks of canned soup and living in that rat infested slice of heaven she c…

FIT FOR NOTHING. Short story.

I decided on a life-changing routine to make me fitter, healthier and a little more attractive to myself and others.

When Death Comes My Way

When death comes my way I hope and pray / That I am not judged by fellow man / For unlike them I am guiltless

What A Explosive Combination

The sign informs the patient who has been inject with the radioactive dye, that they are not allow travel buy Bus,train,plane,cruse ship fo…

Fly The Friendly Skis Or Play Russian Roulette ?

Well i have come up with a new remedy to over come my growing anxiety of travailing by commercial air lines.

MERSEY BEAT

I had to take a twist and shout / To get my ticket to ride, / To bring you all my loving, / So come together baby by my side. / Please Mr. …

We Don’t Work At Sea World

Do you know how a employer can tell if his new employee is a brown nosier ?

Look Me In The Eye When You Talk To Me

" You know what I can’t stand about having a weight problem ?"

McCoy’s Still

“God, but a mug o’this would turn ol’Matty blind. Tis a good thing I kept it to meself.”

Satisfied at the post office

Wet and sticky, for 55 cents.

Fatcat. By Nicole Dixon

Savage is a word I’d say, / Comes firstly to my mind. / When I describe the late Fat Cat, / ‘Twas a threat to all mankind.

‘Poet’

’Tween tumult and the flux, I sought a constancy. I cast my vision deep, and found it within me. So here in the twixt, abridge the wo…

A Fish Tail

So as the fish services next to the boat, the city man asks his cousin what kind of fish he has just caught? As the country man is trying t…

The Bravest Rock…

:)

Top reasons you are a Facebook junkie

When your dog needs to go to the bathroom he has to post a request on your Wall

“Did You Say Something ? "

All of a sudden one them break the deafening silents in the room by let loose a thunderous fart.

The Lucky Fart

…He stops, he lifts up his left leg, and holds it straight out sideways perpendicular to his body, and then he farts…

Asking God

Asking God to forgive me for all my sins and flaws / He says ,YES MY SON,YOU ARE FORGIVEN,I FORGIVE YOU OF THEM ALL / I ask you God to be w…

I’VE NEVER

I’ve never sinned in my whole life. / And I’ve never told a lie. / I have never stolen anything / Or made anybody cry. / I’ve never looked …

Comedious Commentarious:Junk In The Trunk

At the bank a tell and a customer are having a friendly discussion about how much they weigh, while the transaction is be conducted.

Paper Or Plastic ?

In The United States as a person travels across the country, they will realize that objects are referred to by different names in different…

Humorous Cat Antics

For years… I have wished my cat could return my hugs and pets because… I know she would want to. ha ha. Sound weird… well…

CHARLIE SHEEN’S KITTY

(Humorous Parody) / They found Charlie Sheen’s kitty / Asleep on the railroad tracks. / He was covered in white powder, / Can you imagine t…

The Sea Bird

Down on the seashore / standing all alone, / there was a little sea bird / far, far from home.

Mark Kurlansky

…stories that bit with irony and stories that bled unabated, with the essence of the human spirit spilling across the page like the b…

Marvin’s Marvellous Musical Bum. By Nicole Dix…

Flatulence can be loud and proud, / Or silent foul and deadly, / But Marvin’s farts are musical, / They sometimes play a medley.

The Punters Prayer

God grant me the wisdom to always choose / the ones that win and not those who lose

A VIKING IN MY DUSTBIN. (64) The Lid comes off.

I thought if Mrs. Dereck comes back in a leopard skin leotard right now wearing high heels, I’m out of that window pronto!

Fake Humorous Magazine Article

Throughout the past twenty five years society has sat down while exercising, stolen more than ever in recorded history, and become more dis…

Ode of a Fly

I tried to flee, was too scared to fly / I saw red coming, thought I’d soon die. / Next thing I saw, a bright blinding light / I mustered m…

Forums (Fora?)…A Humorous Look At Life In T…

(Mature)

Hose At Hand

Do you remember some time around the late 8o’s or early 90’s, when it was fashionable for a man who thinks he’s cool,to h…

THE INTERRUPTION!

The water bill had been paid, / And it was hot in the shade. / Our water service had been interrupted. / But we still used the bowl / In th…

Silly Little Limerick

What joy should be held on ones wedding day / But one this said occasion, all has gone astray

SYMBOL

I have become the newest sex symbol / For women who no longer care. / Old men have asked me for my advice, / And for this secret they want …

DANCING SQUARE

Home from your trucking job / But getting ready to go, / To the “old fashion barn dance” / Right off the lake shore. / Lift up your arms an…

THE NIGHT BEFORE TOMORROW

Twas the night before tomorrow, / And we heard not a peep. / The cat ate the mouses / While we were asleep! / I awoke from a deep sleep / A…

Top least liked Thanksgiving Day Parade performan…

The National Rifle Association’s helium balloon marksmanship contest

Humorous Birthday

He whispered hocus pocus and moved in wizard ways.

Ego Verses Truth, in a Narrative Humorous Text.

Ego, and truth are having breakfast in their favorite restaurant. They have known each other since the World began. Of-course their causes …

Simple Solution

One day I was feeling so ill while I was at work,I thought I might be having a heart attack.

Potent 3 :The Half-Hell of a Ride

(Mature)

Potent 2: Listen

(Mature)

Potent1: Be Calm And

(Mature)

Do The Elves build toys or Nike Sneakers

I responded, " So the story of the Elve building all the toys that Sata Claus delivers to the good boys and girl every Christmas is ju…

Silly Cow

I really wish they’d do something / ‘Bout that silly cow next door. / She’s really getting on my nerves. / I can’t …

Cover Letter

I have learned that if anyone offers you more than twenty dollars to “work from home,” it is a scam devised to steal your organs

The Value Of A Tatoo

Now Bill notice his friend Ted has a new tato of Mount Rushmore across the center of his fat stomach.

Stealth Ingredient Information Panel.

And this is a x-military man saying this,and I have been fed a lot of strange things in my time in the service that has been tried to be pa…

PERPLEXING

I gave my honey a red silk scarf / Just to tell her I loved her so. / I told her how it matches her eyes. / My two black eyes really show. …

THE ANSWER MAN

I billed myself as the answer man / And stood on a college stage. / I told them I had no answers, / That’s why professors there get p…

STOLEN KISSES

If you’re out with a beautiful lady / On lovers lane on a night of bliss, / And you ask her if you can kiss her, / Kiss her twice before sh…

PAZAZZ

Not since Lennon and McCartney / Has there been a writer with such pazazz. / In fact we’d go so far as to say, / He’s the best …

LIMERICKS FUN

Beauty and grace are seen on the face / Of my beautiful ballerina. / If I could turn back time / Your sweet surrender is mine, / Whispering…

THE BATH

She was rising from her bubble bath / And standing soaking wet. / A golden auburn beauty, / This vision I’ll not forget. / I took a t…

SAY IT THREE TIMES, FAST!

Assembling a disassembled assembly line has always been to invite production of the potentiality of assembling a productive product pertain…

MCGILLICUDDY

M-aybe Lucy Or Lucille Ricardo / C-ould not tell you her middle name. / G-ot to reading it was Esmeralda, / I-n her wedding guest book prin…

APRIL TUNES

(To the tune of: April Showers) / Though April showers may come your way, / I will not plagiarize any more today. / So if you’re looking fo…

I

I am wasted down to skin and bones / But what keeps it all together? / It’s one hundred pounds of extra fat, / So I stay warm in all cool w…

WE’LL SEE

I have a friend, Jollynoblefrog. / We shook hands one day in the park. / Then warts broke out all over me. / I have to scrape them off with…

EQUALS

Today women are treated as equals. / Those who aren’t wear corrective bras. / When buying reconditioned plumbing supplies, / You̵…

SAUSAGE AND GRAVY

My son joined the US Navy / Because of the sausage and gravy. / In the Army it’s called SOS / It made my waistline wavy. / I like cor…
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